The five stages of network troubleshooting, as told by ancient wisdom:
1. Denial: "It's not DNS"
2. Anger: "There's no way it's DNS"
3. Bargaining: *frantically checking firewall rules*
4. Depression: *silent contemplation while staring at wireshark*
5. Acceptance: "It was DNS"
The universal truth every sysadmin discovers after wasting 6 hours of their life. DNS - secretly stands for "Did Not Solve" until you finally check it.