Microsoft's Five-Step Profit Plan

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Content Hands-On Machine Learning with Microsoft Excel 2019 Build complete data ana visualization Thomas had never seen such bullshit before

While philosophers debate whether the glass is half empty or half full, Excel is over here interpreting your liquid level as a date because why not? This perfectly captures Excel's notorious habit of converting anything remotely numeric into dates whether you want it to or not. Type "1/2" meaning one-half? Nope, that's January 2nd now. Your simple fraction? Sorry, it's February 1st. The eternal struggle of every data analyst who's ever screamed at their screen: "NO EXCEL, THAT'S NOT A DATE!"

That moment of existential dread when your freshly cleaned PC suddenly takes longer to boot. Your brain immediately jumps to "Did I accidentally delete system32? Is my SSD dying? Did I somehow mess up the registry?" The irony is perfect - you try to improve things and somehow make them worse. It's like refactoring code only to introduce 17 new bugs. The universe's way of saying "nice try, buddy."

The digital equivalent of an ambush. You're innocently typing away, make one tiny spelling mistake in the Windows search bar, and BAM—Microsoft Edge swoops in like that relative who shows up uninvited when they hear you're cooking dinner. It's Microsoft's desperate cry for attention: "Please use me instead of Chrome! I'm right here! LOOK AT ME!" Meanwhile, Tom's face perfectly captures that mix of horror and betrayal we all feel when our computer makes decisions without our consent. The real irony? You were probably trying to search "how to permanently disable Edge browser" when it happened.

Content TIME FOR A GOOD 3 PRODUCTIVE DAY AT THE COMPUTER! EVERYTHING IS BROKEN NOW OH BOY, A SOFTWARE UPDATE! UPDATING