Software bloat Memes

Posts tagged with Software bloat

Put It Back Now
Programming Webdev Debugging Frontend
7 days ago 61.5K views 0 shares
Put It Back Now
THE ABSOLUTE AUDACITY of Opera GX thinking they could just REMOVE a sacred fried egg image from their code! 💅 First they're like "we saved a WHOLE 18kb" as if that's something to brag about in our terabyte era. Then the ENTIRE INTERNET collectively loses its mind and demands justice for the egg that's been secretly lurking in their files since 2019! The fact that a browser had to publicly apologize to an EGG and then ceremoniously restore it to its rightful place is peak software development drama. This is why we can't have nice things... or smaller file sizes apparently!

Java: Making Things Suck Since 1995
Java Programming Backend
11 days ago 63.4K views 0 shares
Java: Making Things Suck Since 1995
The Java logo has become the universal symbol for "this will make anything unnecessarily complex and resource-hungry, but somehow still work." Slap that bad boy on a broken appliance, and suddenly it's not just a vacuum—it's an enterprise-grade dust acquisition system with 16GB memory requirements and three dependency injection frameworks. The only thing missing is the vacuum asking if you want to update it every 3 minutes while you're trying to clean.

The Eternal Hardware-Software Cycle Of Doom
Programming Hardware Algorithms Debugging Frontend
21 days ago 83.9K views 1 shares
The Eternal Hardware-Software Cycle Of Doom
The eternal cycle of developer suffering, illustrated through classical art! When you have slow processors, you're forced to write efficient, elegant code. Then your good code unlocks better hardware, which inevitably leads to lazy developers writing spaghetti monstrosities because "hey, we've got processing power to spare!" Then that bloated nightmare code brings even the beefiest machines to their knees, and we're back to square one. It's the circle of technical debt that's been happening since the dawn of computing. Writing optimized code on limited hardware? Noble and disciplined. Having fast processors that run garbage code? Pure decadence that ends in flames. The hardware-software ouroboros continues to eat its own tail for eternity.

The RAM Hunger Games
Windows Webdev Microsoft Programming Debugging
29 days ago 92.6K views 0 shares
The RAM Hunger Games
The evolution of RAM-hungry applications, illustrated by increasingly fancy Winnie the Pooh: First, we blame Windows for hogging our RAM. Then Chrome enters the chat with its tab-per-gigabyte appetite. Discord slides in with its "simple chat app" that somehow needs more resources than early space missions. Firefox joins the party pretending to be the lightweight alternative while silently devouring your memory. And then there's Visual Studio 2022 – the final boss of RAM consumption. The IDE that makes you question if you really need both kidneys or if selling one for more RAM might be a sensible career investment. The real joke? We keep buying more RAM instead of demanding better software. Stockholm syndrome, developer edition.

Time To Underclock My CPU To Meet Doom's Minimum Requirements
Gamedev Hardware Programming
1 month ago 76.7K views 0 shares
Time To Underclock My CPU To Meet Doom's Minimum Requirements
Ah, the irony of modern gaming. Your 3.30 GHz CPU is too powerful for a game that once ran on machines that couldn't even stream a cat GIF. Imagine having to sabotage your own hardware because some developer didn't account for the fact that computers have evolved since 1993. It's like buying a Ferrari and then removing the engine because the parking space is designed for a tricycle. The cherry on top is that 74.80 GB requirement - original DOOM fit on a few floppy disks, but now we need half a hard drive just to render the same demons in slightly higher resolution. Progress!

The Accidental Launch Countdown
Microsoft Csharp Programming Debugging
1 month ago 108.6K views 0 shares
The Accidental Launch Countdown
Accidentally opening full Visual Studio instead of VS Code is like launching a nuclear reactor when you just needed a light bulb. Your RAM collapses into a black hole, your CPU fans reach escape velocity, and what should have been a 2-second startup turns into enough time to brew coffee, redesign your entire life philosophy, and question every career choice that led to this moment. The 51 years isn't hyperbole—it's the perceived time it takes for all those enterprise features to load when you just wanted to edit a single config file.

The Tragic Evolution Of Game Developers
Gamedev Unity Programming Debugging
1 month ago 113.0K views 0 shares
The Tragic Evolution Of Game Developers
Oh honey, the EVOLUTION of game developers is sending me to the SHADOW REALM! 💀 Back in the golden era, these GODS OF CODE were out here flexing their optimization skills like "behold my 97kb masterpiece that would make your calculator weep!" They'd write entire games in Assembly like it was a casual weekend hobby and not actual TORTURE. Fast forward to today's "Triple A" devs who are LITERALLY shipping 500GB monstrosities with day-one patches bigger than the entire gaming industry circa 1995. They're out here with their haunted, sleep-deprived faces basically saying "our game barely functions, but hey, buy a new PC or perish!" The breast milk thief subplot is just the cherry on top of this disaster sundae. I cannot EVEN with this industry anymore!

Modern Computing Priorities
Microsoft Hardware Windows Programming Debugging
1 month ago 104.8K views 0 shares
Modern Computing Priorities
In 1973, NASA sent humans to the literal moon with just 4KB of RAM. Fast forward to 2019, and your beastly machine with 16GB RAM and maxed-out CPU is brought to its knees by... an Excel dialog box lurking in the background. Nothing captures modern software bloat quite like this perfect comparison. We've gone from accomplishing humanity's greatest feats with minimal resources to having our supercomputers paralyzed by spreadsheet popups. Progress?

Why Apps Are 20 Times Bigger With Zero New Features
Programming Webdev React Javascript Frontend
2 months ago 94.4K views 0 shares
Why Apps Are 20 Times Bigger With Zero New Features
THE AUDACITY of modern apps! 😱 While society warns us not to ask women their age or men their salary, the REAL taboo question is asking developers why their precious app now requires 4GB when it used to fit on a floppy disk! 💾 Apparently, adding seventeen new frameworks, fourteen analytics libraries, and enough JavaScript to sink a battleship is TOTALLY necessary to display "Hello World" these days. But heaven forbid you get one extra button! That's scheduled for next year's bloatware update! 🙄

Small Fixes, 100 GB Patch
Gamedev Devops Programming Debugging
2 months ago 88.4K views 0 shares
Small Fixes, 100 GB Patch
The absurdity of modern software bloat in one perfect screenshot! A 10KB JPEG requires 152.77GB of space? That's like needing an aircraft carrier to deliver a postcard. Game developers be like: "We fixed a typo in the credits. Download size: 87GB." Meanwhile, entire operating systems from the 90s fit on a floppy disk. The driveway analogy is brilliant—having storage space doesn't justify developers treating your SSD like their personal dumping ground. No, I don't want to sacrifice 1/4 of my hard drive because you couldn't be bothered to implement delta patching.

Help Us Gordon Moore, You're Our Only Hope
Hardware Programming Frontend Backend
2 months ago 138.3K views 0 shares
Help Us Gordon Moore, You're Our Only Hope
Ah, the ultimate developer excuse dictionary entry! The meme brilliantly redefines Moore's Law, which originally stated that transistor count doubles roughly every two years, into our favorite scapegoat for inefficient code. It's that unspoken agreement between hardware and software folks: "We'll keep writing memory-leaking, CPU-melting spaghetti code because Intel and AMD will just make faster chips anyway!" The perfect symbiotic relationship where one side does all the actual optimization work. Next time your React app consumes 2GB of RAM to display "Hello World," just shrug and say "Moore's Law!" while the hardware engineers silently weep in the corner.

Total Bloatware Death
Programming Webdev Hardware Gamedev Debugging
3 months ago 120.2K views 0 shares
Total Bloatware Death
The ultimate bloatware assassin: hire one dev with a potato laptop and rural internet as your team's performance gatekeeper! 🥔💻 Imagine trying to explain why your fancy ray-tracing feature won't load on their ancient 2GB RAM machine while they're legally permitted to roast you into oblivion. "But it works on MY machine" won't save you from their dial-up-powered wrath! It's like having a performance budget enforcer with actual consequences. Add unnecessary bloat? Face the ancient laptop tribunal and pray for mercy. The dream solution for a world drowning in electron apps that somehow need 16GB RAM to display "Hello World"!