Bloatware At Its Best

Content How to fix any computer The Oatmeal Windows Step I. Reboot Apple Step I. Take it to an Apple store. v Did that fix it, No? Proceed to step a Did that fix it; No? Proceed to step a Step a. Format hard drive Reinstall Windows Lose all your files. Quietly weep. Step a. Buy a new Mac. Overdraw your account. Quietly weep. Linux Step I. Learn to code in C. Recompile the kernel. Build your own microprocessor out of spare silicon you had lying around. Recompile the kernel again. Switch distros Recompile the kernel again but this time using a CPU powered by refracted light from Saturn. Grow a giont beard. Blame Sun Microsusters. Turn your bedroom into a server closet and spend ten years falling asleep to the sound of whirring fans. Switch distros again. Abandon all hugene. Write a regular expression that would make other precrammers cry blood. Learn to code in Java Recompile the kernel again Cut thic time while wearing your lucky socks) Did that fix its Nor Proceed to step an Step a. Revert back to using Windows or a Mac. Quietlu weep.

Content Windows Developer O windowsdev Finish the sentence My favorite part of Windows 11 is 22:02 - 08 Nov 21 - Sprinkir Publisher 16 Retweets 51 Quote Tweets 300 Likes 17 Tanay Aggarwal imTanayAggarwal 25 Replying to windowsdev that it is not supported on my machine. :)

Content High CPU use by taskhost.exe when Windows 8.1 user name contains "user" Email Print Symptoms The taskhost.exe process intermittently consumes high CPU on Windows 8.1 computers when a user account in the local accounts database contains the word "user Cause This is a problem in the component DFPCommon.dll in Windows 8.1. Resolution To resolve the issue. do not create a user account containing the string "user" on the computer.

Ah, the rare sight of someone who actually paid for WinRAR. The nobility of the 18th century had powdered wigs and fancy coats. The nobility of the digital age? People who click "Buy" instead of "Close" on that 40-day trial reminder that's been popping up since 1997. Truly the aristocracy of our time.

The most honest error message in software history. Instead of the usual cryptic nonsense, this machine just straight-up admits it can't do what you want and offers the perfect response button: "Bummer." After 15 years of debugging, I'd kill for this level of honesty from my code. No stack trace. No hexadecimal garbage. Just "yeah, that's not happening" and a button that perfectly captures my emotional state during the entire development process.

That moment when your BIOS update turns into an expensive paperweight speedrun. The dreaded click of death - where your computer's soul leaves its body mid-firmware update. Nothing quite matches the sheer terror of watching your machine flatline while performing open-heart surgery on its firmware. Your eyes widen just like that cat's as you realize you've just transformed your $2000 rig into modern art. Pro tip: always have a UPS backup power supply... and maybe a therapist on speed dial.