Bloatware At Its Best

Content How to fix any computer Windows Step 1. Reboot Did that fix it? Nor Proceed to step a Step a Format hard drive. Reinstall Windows Lose all your files Quietly weep Apple Step 1. Take it to an Apple store Did that fix it? No? Proceed to step a Step a Buy a new Mac Overdraw your account Quietly weep Linux Step 1. Learn to code in C. Recompile the kernel. Build your own microprocessor out of spare silicon you had lying around Recompile the kernel again. Switch distros. Recompile the kernel again but this time using a CPU powered by refracted light from Saturn. Grow a giant beard. Blame Sun Microsystems. Turn your bedroom into a server closet and spend ten years falling asleep to the sound of whirring fans. Switch distros again. Abandon all hygiene. Write a regular expression that would make other programmers cry blood. Learn to code in Java. Recompile the kernel again (but this time while wearing your lucky socks). Did that fix it? No? Proceed to step a Step a. Revert back to Using Windows or a Mac Quietly weep

Content 1 work in IT, which is the reason our house has: - mechanical locks - mechanical windows - routers using OpenWRT - no smart home crap - no AlexaGoogle Assistant.. - no internet connected thermostats Tech Enthusiasts: Everything in my house is wired to the Internet of Things! I control it all from my smartphone! My smart-house is bluetooth enabled and I can give it voice commands via alexa! I love the future! Programmers Engineers: The most recent piece of technology I own is a printer from 2004 and I keep a loaded gun ready to shoot it if it ever makes an unexpected noise.

It's the RPG character selection screen nobody asked for but everyone secretly relates to! Choose your programmer archetype: Top left: The Corporate Legacy Warrior - Internet Explorer, Windows Server 2003, and .NET. You've got job security until those legacy systems finally die (which might be never). Top right: The Privacy Paladin - C programming, GNU/Linux, ThinkPads, and Tor. You probably have a Richard Stallman shrine and whisper "proprietary software is theft" in your sleep. Bottom left: The Hipster Bard - HTML5, JS, Apple, Electron, and of course, the mandatory Starbucks coffee. Your apps are bloated but your Instagram is fire. Bottom right: The Hardcore Wizard - Arch Linux, Monster Energy, mechanical keyboards, and 300 commits per day. You've been coding since 12 and think sleep is optional. The real question isn't which class you are, but which one you'll admit to being in public.

The mental health screening just took an unexpected turn! Using Visual Studio as your default text editor is like bringing a nuclear submarine to a fishing trip. Sure, it'll work, but the 15-minute startup time and 8GB of RAM consumption just to edit "hello.txt" might be signs of deeper issues. The family probably has a history of installing entire IDEs to change a single line of config files. Next question: "Does anyone in your family use Electron apps to check the weather?"

Content SOCIETY IF EVERY OS USED PAS FILE PATH

Ah yes, the legendary "PC exclusives" that have collectively stolen more productivity hours than any AAA title. Nothing says "high-performance gaming rig" like frantically clicking through Minesweeper while pretending to work on spreadsheets. These aren't games—they're sophisticated workplace camouflage with a side of existential dread. The true test of gaming skill isn't your K/D ratio, it's clearing an expert Minesweeper board without breaking a sweat or solving Spider Solitaire while your boss walks by. Let's be honest, we've all felt that rush of adrenaline when the cards cascade in Solitaire—who needs ray tracing when you have that?