Wasted All Of My Generational Luck Just For This

Content Catalin Pit catalinmpit Learning JavaScript is like looking both ways before you cross the street, and then getting hit by an airplane. 10:06 AM Jul 21, 2020 Twitter Web App 12 Retweets and comments 118 Likes 17

When someone asks why a button doesn't work and gets told to "lick it" - turns out there's literally an onclick="lick" event handler! The perfect blend of terrible tech support and actual code. Next time your app breaks, just remember: maybe the developer really did expect you to lick your screen. Tastes like debugging tears.

Ah, the classic "read everything but build nothing" syndrome! This poor soul has gone down the documentation rabbit hole, consuming every tech manual from Java to Kubernetes without writing a single line of actual code. It's like studying the theory of swimming for years without ever getting wet. The tech stack resume is impressive enough to land a senior position, but ask them to print "Hello World" and suddenly they're experiencing an existential crisis. Reading documentation is like watching cooking shows - it doesn't make you a chef until you burn something in the kitchen a few times.

Ah yes, the endless war between curly braces and angle brackets. Backend devs sitting in their natural habitat—a poorly lit room with messy desk and Apple hardware they never asked for but "it's company policy." Meanwhile, frontend devs get the ergonomic chair and dark mode IDE because apparently CSS traumatized them enough already. The true irony? Both are staring at black screens with colored text thinking they're completely different species while essentially doing the same thing—turning caffeine into bugs... I mean code.

Content ...it was originally a C console app but that really seemed like overkill for what it does, so I rebuilt it in Powershell. No big deal - only took me a couple of hours" ProgrammerHumo

Content ?php header ("Content-type: texthtml; charsetutf-8"); This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code. I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing using a BaseX setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried by a handwritten plate of uncommented PH spaghetti fit to feed an army of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS. The very long BaseX script, very long PH presenter and very long XSLT stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I bet they have mismatches somewhere. Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing this after a prolonged medical therapy - mostly successful, thanks for asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice: Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a relapse simply by opening this file again to write this comment. Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world and hope it will be enough. Farewell. error reporting (E ALL); ini set ("display errors", true); print '?xmi version"1.o" encoding"UTFg" 7'