Indexing Memes

The eternal holy war of programming: zero-indexing vs one-indexing. Some languages start arrays at 0 (looking at you, C and friends), others insist on starting at 1 (MATLAB and Lua, you rebels). Then there's that one galaxy-brain developer who suggests starting at 0.5 as a "compromise." Because nothing says "I've solved computer science" like introducing floating point errors into your array indices. Next brilliant idea: using π as the starting index – because irrational numbers make PERFECT sense for memory addressing!

Oh look, an executive order for the MATLAB developers! The age-old religious war between array indexing at 0 vs 1 just got a new contender. While C, JavaScript, and Python devs start counting from 0 like sensible humans following computer memory offset logic, and MATLAB/R folks start at 1 like mathematical purists, here comes the decree that 2 is somehow the ultimate starting index. Next up: semicolons are now optional but randomly required, and all loops must be written backwards. The compiler will decide if your code runs based on its mood that day.

The eternal programmer struggle summed up perfectly! Our adventurer discovers the "scroll of truth" only to find out that MATLAB's bizarre 1-indexed arrays actually make mathematical sense. The immediate "NYEHHH" reaction and throwing the scroll away is every programmer who's been traumatized by switching between languages. Sure, it might make sense for math nerds, but try explaining that to my muscle memory after 10 years of array[0] . This is like finding out your arch-nemesis has a valid point - technically correct but I'll die on this zero-indexed hill anyway!