You Are The Hacker

Content 47 I Am Devloper Retweeted Pranay Pathole PPathole iamdevloper Put a five second delay - ex. Thread.Sleep (5000); behind every common action in your software, then after 3 months when your users go crazy remove the delays and tell them you worked tirelessly to improve performance and suddenly everyone will love you. 82218 04:11:53 AM 7h Twitter Web Client 47 465 RETWEETS 1.473 LIKES 47 ProarammerHumor i0

Content Hacker Scripts Based on a true story: xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy" xxx: You're gonna love this xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login. xxX: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time". xxX: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling wellgonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am. xxX: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xxx: holy sht I'm keeping those

Ah, the eternal gang war of the command line. On the red side, we have the cat /file | grep pattern crew—unnecessarily piping a file into grep like they're getting paid by the character. On the blue side, the enlightened grep pattern /file purists who skip the middleman. It's basically the command-line equivalent of taking a taxi to walk across the street. Sure, both get the job done, but one makes efficiency nerds twitch uncontrollably. The real gangsters use grep -r pattern . and don't even specify files. Absolute chaos.

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Content When your shower uses github more than you

Content How signal handling works: Browser freezes Windows Unix Sir would you please kill your self in order to SIGKILL signal free some resources? M29 -CISIOTE 16 4