The Linux Confession Drowning Pool

Content 5 WANT ECLICI MAKE THIS SMALL CHANGE CLICKE CLACK? BEFORE AUG 10 ALL DONE DESMAN Fr aLL DONE

Content Who are we? What do we want? When do we want it? Clients! We don't know! NOW!

Content V 14 Ok this is really funny, check this out. I was in the process of booking a flight via OneTravel. Trying to make me book ASAP, they claimed: "38 people are looking at this flight". Whoa, 38 is a lot, I have to hurry up. But first I have to check how they came up with 38 38 people are looking at this flight. Book now before tickets run out! 19:29 min sec 5:09 p.m. 16 okt. 2019 Twitter Web App 999 Retweets 2,4K vind-ik-leuks 8 az 16 okt. V Als antwoord op a 24 Right click and a quick "inspect" on the number, I found out the element's class name is "viewnotificationrandom". Awesome variable naming guys. So you're randomly trying to freak me out Alright span.view notificationrandom 12.25 x 12 are looking at this flight.' 6 17 67 M 407 16 okt. 34 So what's your sophisticated pseudo random algorithm? Apparently, OneTravel are choosing a number between 28 and 45. Because as you all know, based on serious psychological research, these numbers tend to make people book their flights fast sarcasm not42 var u 28 c Math. floor (Math. random() (45 u)) for ((" viewnotification random"). text(c), typeof IsCCNAndTFNMasking Is " 88 S("Paymentlast " flight 9 5 17 47 M 355 16 Okt. 44 Here's a bonus graph. Thanl and 251 0.0 0.2 14 0.4 17 6 0.6 0.8 167

Ah, Linus Torvalds reviewing your pull request. That "1228" comments counter isn't a bug—it's a feature showing exactly how many ways your code violates kernel standards. Nothing says "I love your contribution" like enough feedback to fill a small novel. Your weekend plans just got replaced with deciphering variations of "No." and "This is terrible." At least rejection would've been quick and merciful.

Content Get up! Client wants more changes. Please, let me die.

The ultimate Linux nightmare has arrived! Someone's created a fake error message showing Vim being "banned at the kernel level" - complete with Unix humor like PID 1 (init) working on a fix after a "wait(2)" call. The "kill -9 vim" command at the bottom is the chef's kiss - it's the Linux equivalent of taking Vim out back and putting it down with extreme prejudice. Emacs users are probably celebrating while Vim enthusiasts are having panic attacks. The skull emoji really sells the fake dystopian tech future where text editors require government approval.