Trying To Learn A Young Language, Using A Tutorial That's More Than A Year Old

The modern developer's nightmare spelled out in logos - RETARD : R eact, E xpress, T ailwind, A WS, R edis, D eno. Someone at marketing definitely got fired for not checking the acronym before approving this stack. Imagine the CTO's face during the presentation: "Our revolutionary RETARD stack will disrupt the industry!" *awkward silence* *single cough from the back row* The irony is that individually, these are actually decent technologies. Together? Career suicide in your next standup meeting.

Hiring managers living in a parallel universe where Java has existed since the 1970s and humans code until they're 90. Nothing says "entry-level position" quite like requiring 45 years of experience in technologies that haven't existed that long. Spring Boot was released in 2014, React in 2013, and Kubernetes in 2014 - but sure, let's pretend someone's been mastering them since the Nixon administration. The best part? This is probably still listed as a "junior developer" role paying $45K with "room for growth." Time to dust off that time machine in my garage...

When you're so good at stopping DDoS attacks that you accidentally DDoS yourself. Cloudflare, the company that shields websites from attacks, managed to take down their own API with a simple React useEffect hook mistake. It's like a firefighter setting their own station on fire while demonstrating how not to start fires. The irony is just *chef's kiss* - a dashboard loop causing an API outage. Somewhere, a junior dev is updating their resume while a senior dev is explaining to management that "it worked on my machine."

This meme is hitting JavaScript developers right where it hurts! The title "Array.reverse Have Sealed Your Fate Brendan Eich" is a direct callout to the creator of JavaScript himself. The cardinal sin being mocked here is writing methods that mutate the original array AND return the same instance - like our beloved villain Array.reverse() . It's the programming equivalent of changing someone's furniture around while they're in the bathroom and then gaslighting them about it. Pure functions? Never heard of her. These mutating methods are why senior devs wake up in cold sweats at 3 AM screaming "IMMUTABILITY!" before checking their git history. Even God himself (or at least a cartoon deity with an impressive beard) has reserved a special place in programmer hell for the perpetrators. Not just regular hell - the boiler room. Where they'll probably be forced to debug Internet Explorer compatibility issues for eternity.

OMG, BEHOLD THE REACT PROVIDER PYRAMID OF DOOM! 😱 What started as a "simple component" has morphed into this MONSTROSITY of nested providers that would make Russian dolls jealous! The absolute AUDACITY of React developers to say "just one more provider" when their render function already looks like the tech equivalent of a family reunion where NOBODY KNOWS WHEN TO LEAVE. At this point, the closing tags are in a different ZIP code from where they started. This isn't code—it's a cry for help wrapped in angle brackets!

A lonely C++ programmer stands in the corner of a party, nursing a drink while contemplating memory management strategies. Meanwhile, the "vibe coders" and "latest JavaScript framework coders" are having the time of their lives, blissfully unaware that pointers even exist. It's like watching someone who knows how engines work watching TikTokers who think cars run on magic and good vibes. The C++ dev silently judges while manually freeing memory that nobody else even knows they're allocating.