The Real Exponential Growth Champion

Oh. My. GOD. This is what happens when you put string concatenation in a job interview! 🤦‍♂️ The interviewer asks what '2' + '2' equals, expecting a proper mathematician to say 4. But our GENIUS candidate answers "22" because in most programming languages, adding two strings with plus signs just SMASHES them together! And what does the IT department do? HIRE THIS PERSON IMMEDIATELY! Because only a TRUE developer would see quotes and think "string concatenation" instead of math. The rest of humanity is just living in DENIAL!

Content PROGRAMMING Javascript Developer Finally Understands async-await Halfway Through an Orgy Paul E. Morfism Feb 15, 2024 - 1 min read ProdrammerHumor.io

Someone just committed career suicide with the statement "java and javascript are literally the same" — a claim so blasphemous it's being documented under "Photos Taken Seconds Before Tragedy." The relationship between Java and JavaScript is like claiming a car and carpet are the same because they both start with "car." One's an island; the other's just visiting. The comment section is undoubtedly preparing pitchforks and compiler errors as we speak.

Content Hacker Scripts Based on a true story: xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy" xxx: You're gonna love this xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login. xxX: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time". xxX: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling wellgonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am. xxX: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xxx: holy sht I'm keeping those

Content int, float, double, long, short, byte number

Content JavaScript Teacher javascriptual When I worked at Google I saw this code: if (user.cookies.agreed) CollectData(user) else CollectData(user) 9:28 am 27 Jan 21 Twitter Web App