Shiny Object Syndrome

The kid's already been corrupted by zero-indexing! That's not just numbering – that's programming numbering. While normal humans start counting at 1, this tiny developer is starting at 0, just like arrays in most programming languages. The parent's pride is completely justified – that child is destined for a life of explaining to non-technical people why the first element is actually the zeroth element. Future debugging sessions and off-by-one errors await this prodigy!

When your code says "Error on line 265" but line 265 is just a single curly brace. The absolute betrayal! That innocent little "}" sitting there, taking the blame for someone else's crimes. Meanwhile, the REAL culprit is probably a missing semicolon from 200 lines ago that's been silently plotting your downfall since coffee break. JavaScript's idea of a practical joke is to make debugging feel like trying to find a ninja in a dark room.

JSON looking at alternative serialization formats like they're aliens from another dimension is peak developer humor. While JSON has become the undisputed champion of data interchange, these other formats (Protocol Buffers, Thrift, Avro, and Ion) are actually powerful alternatives with better performance and schema validation. But let's be honest - most of us just keep defaulting to JSON because it's everywhere. We'll research these alternatives for that "high-performance microservice architecture," add them to our "things to learn" Trello board, and then immediately go back to JSON.stringify() and call it a day.

The hill programmers are willing to die on: proper syntax terminology. Nothing triggers a developer faster than hearing someone call parentheses "brackets" during code review. It's the same energy as correcting someone's grammar in the YouTube comments section. The mock TED Talk format just makes it *chef's kiss* - because we all know that person who treats basic programming knowledge like they're delivering revolutionary wisdom to the masses.

BEHOLD! The most DRAMATIC hierarchy of developer suffering ever witnessed! 💀 While SREs at unicorn startups and embedded engineers at major automakers are mingling at some fancy tech party, our poor web dev hero stands ALONE with his party hat, having just completed the MOST GRUELING task known to mankind — a website for a local mom & pop jewelry store! The sheer AUDACITY of those tech elites to not understand the EMOTIONAL DAMAGE of explaining to Mrs. Jenkins why her nephew's "design ideas" won't work, or the EXISTENTIAL CRISIS of making a carousel that doesn't break on Internet Explorer! The TRAUMA of hearing "can you make the logo bigger" for the 47th time! Neighborhood web devs are the UNSUNG HEROES battling in the trenches of client expectations while the tech elite sip their kombucha in their ergonomic chairs!

Oh the beautiful tragedy of regex! First post: "You have A problem. Regex is the solution. Now you have 2 problems." Second post: "There was this saying: the plural of regex is regrets." It's like trying to fix your bike with a flamethrower. Sure, the original problem is gone, but now your bike is on fire and you're questioning all your life choices! The regex rabbit hole claims another victim... *plays tiny violin*