I'll Be Backend

Content Giulio Carrara 3rd Software Engineer 1d g Dear recruiters, if you are looking for: - Java, Python, PHP - React, Angular - PostgreSQL, Redis, MongoDB - AWS, S3, EC2, ECS, EKS - nix system administration - Git and CI with TDD - Docker, Kubernetes That's not a Full Stack Developer. That's an entire IT department. Yours truly 8,801 391 comments ProarammerHumor.io

Content Me Yelling at Computer: Why won't this work? It isn't that hard! The computer, doing what its told: The IDE that thought the unused variable was more important: The backend dev wondering why O am hard- coding ISON Objects: The missing semicolon: I'm about to end this man's whole career Users who made their own operating systems and StackOverflow users who dont postanswers: Signature look of superiority. former Pathetic. The compiler after hearing me say I will quit programming if this doesn't work: Doubt Made with GIMP

JavaScript's type coercion strikes again! In JS, when comparing strings with > , it performs lexicographical comparison - meaning "Dog" > "Cat" evaluates to true because 'D' comes after 'C' in the alphabet. The grumpy kitten represents Brendan Eich (JavaScript's creator) facepalming at his own language quirks. He unleashed these string comparison shenanigans on the world and now even cats are judging him for it. The feline uprising begins with alphabetical order!

Content 2020 6666 not sure if stupid or javascript developer

Frontend developers looking at CSS like it's some mystical treasure that will solve all their layout problems. Then they actually try to center a div vertically and suddenly that treasure turns into a cursed object. The face of regret in the third panel is the universal expression of someone who just realized they need to support Internet Explorer.

Content Hacker Scripts Based on a true story: xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy" xxx: You're gonna love this xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login. xxX: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time". xxX: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling wellgonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am. xxX: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xxx: holy sht I'm keeping those