I'll Be Backend

Content 13 Some scientist on the news said 1 out of 3 programmers understands regular expressions Well, I don't Neither do I It's probably 1 out of 4 ProgrammerHumo

Remember when web development meant just grabbing your Laravel briefcase and heading out the door? Fast forward to today, and you're drowning in a sea of frameworks and libraries! SpongeBob perfectly captures the evolution from the simpler "Then" days with just Laravel to the chaotic "Now" where you're bombarded with Express.js, Next.js, GraphQL, REST APIs, multiple Node.js versions, and React with its infinity symbol (because the learning curve truly never ends). It's like going from carrying a single briefcase to juggling flaming chainsaws while riding a unicycle. The thousand-yard stare in modern SpongeBob's eyes is the universal expression of every developer who just wanted to update a simple dependency and ended up rebuilding their entire tech stack.

Someone just walked up to Jason Momoa and called him "json momoa" and honestly? The man looks like he's about to unleash the fury of a thousand misplaced commas. That death glare could parse your entire API and find every single syntax error in your soul. The absolute AUDACITY to reduce this majestic human to a data interchange format! Though let's be real, if Jason Momoa was actually JSON, he'd be perfectly formatted, properly indented, and would never throw a parsing error. Unlike the rest of us mortals who forget a closing bracket and watch our entire application burn.

Programmer 1: *writes simple ternary operator to check if a number is odd or even* Random person: "gator hugger" Programmer 2: "That's JS's ternary operator, python works differently." Programmer 1: *creates unholy abomination that calls JavaScript from Python just to use a ternary operator* This is the equivalent of driving to another country because you prefer their traffic lights. Modern programming is just finding increasingly complex ways to avoid learning syntax differences.

DARLING, the BETRAYAL! Backend passing a note with HTTP status codes instead of a proper error object! The absolute AUDACITY! 🙄 Frontend's face says it all - "You expect me to work with THIS?!" Backend just casually tossing over raw status codes (200 for success, 500 for server error) when everyone knows frontend deserves a PROPERLY FORMATTED JSON error with actual useful information! The DRAMA of cross-team communication! It's like getting a breakup text that just says "relationship = null" - GIVE ME DETAILS, PEOPLE!

Listen, when someone questions why you use i and j for loop counters, there's only one valid response: IT'S THE LAW. It's like asking why we drink coffee or hate meetings that could've been emails. Some traditions in programming aren't meant to be questioned—they're sacred knowledge passed down from the ancient CS gods. Using foo and bar as placeholder names, tabs vs spaces, and i , j , k for nested loops... these are the unwritten commandments that separate the true believers from the heretics. Sure, you could use descriptive variable names like index or counter , but then your fellow devs might think you're some kind of revolutionary anarchist. And nobody wants that kind of reputation in the office.