C Plus Plus In JavaScript

Look at me ignoring that README file like it's my ex's text messages. We've all been there—excitedly diving into a shiny new library, completely bypassing the documentation because "how hard could it be?" Then two hours later, after fighting bizarre errors and contemplating a career change to goat farming, we're crawling back to that README with our tail between our legs. The documentation was there the whole time, patiently waiting for us to admit we're not as clever as we thought. It's the programming circle of life.

For the uninitiated, jQuery uses the dollar sign ($) as its function identifier. So when Europeans write jQuery code, they apparently use the Euro symbol (€) instead. Spoiler alert: they don't. That would break everything. It's like saying Europeans use different electricity because their outlets look different. Your code would catch fire, but at least you'd be culturally sensitive while debugging.

The evolution of data collection in three acts of increasing desperation. First, you've got your fancy waiters (API) - clean, professional, brings exactly what you ordered. Then there's the pirates (scraping) - stealing what you need because the restaurant won't serve you. And finally, the undead hordes (archive.md) - the nuclear option when a site has died but you still need that precious data. It's the developer's journey from "I'd like to make a request" to "I'm breaking into your house at 2am with bolt cutters."

The duality of variable naming in one perfect comic. When asked how they name variables, our hero responds with "Just meaningful names" while their actual code tells a different story: let plsHELPiAmSuffering - for when the debugger is your therapist let i_am_hungry - because coding at 3am requires documentation const ETERNAL_PAIN - clearly a well-scoped constant var weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee - when you've lost all will to follow naming conventions let tempVarNameWillChangeWhenImNotDoingThisAtMidnight - the lie we tell ourselves Every developer has two wolves inside them: one that wants clean, readable code and another that's having an existential crisis at 2am with a deadline tomorrow.

The ultimate developer prank: advertising a fake conference with a registration link to localhost:3000 . It's like telling someone their prize is in their own pocket ! The localhost address points to your own computer, so anyone trying to register would just hit their own machine—assuming they're even running a server on port 3000. Pure networking comedy gold that separates the CS degree holders from the bootcamp graduates. The 206 upvotes suggest plenty of developers fell for it before realizing they've been magnificently bamboozled.

Content STOP DOING COMPUTER SCIENCE Computers were supposed to solve math, NOT to be programmed C is a LETTER, not a language Wanna print() something? Write it in a PAPER with a PEN "I'm writing a recursive method with threads to optimize the CPU usage in a 0.02" THIS IS A NONSENSICAL STATEMENT MADE BY DERANGED PEOPLE Look at what PROGRAMMERS have been demanding your respect for, after all the led lights we put in their computers: (This is real COMPUTER SCIENCE, done by real COMPUTER SCIENTISTS): os.syal FUNNY GOLORED LETTERS 178 COMPILATION ERRORS????? A FAKE TEAPOT YOU CAN'T USE IF PROGRAMMING WAS REAL HOW COME NOBODY THOUGHT IN DOING while(true) print(money); THEY PLAYED US FOR ABSOLUTE FOOLS