What Stops Me Everytime

Ah yes, the classic marketplace listing. "$420 for an RTX 3090 with a small scratch." That's like saying the Titanic had a "minor hull breach." What we're looking at is a graphics card that appears to have been rescued from a wood chipper. Someone clearly tried to mine crypto with a chainsaw attached. The seller probably thinks "lightly used" means "survived a house fire." But hey, at least the model number is still visible—perfect for identifying what's left at the crime scene.

The bear vs wolf meme perfectly captures how system requirements have evolved over time. Modern AAA games demand absurd hardware specs (RTX 5090, 64GB RAM, 1TB SSD) while the original DOOM from 1993 will happily run on a potato with two wires sticking out of it. The title about "running it in GitHub Actions" is the chef's kiss - some dev figured out how to bypass buying a gaming rig by abusing CI/CD infrastructure to play games on company hardware. Classic developer resourcefulness. Your DevOps team hates this one simple trick!

Oh, the AUDACITY of family members who think your programming degree doubles as a CompTIA A+ certification! Just because you can debug a recursive function at 2 AM doesn't mean you magically know why Aunt Karen's printer is possessed by demons. Sure, you COULD probably figure it out—turn it off and on again, check if it's actually plugged in, sacrifice a USB cable to the tech gods—but let's be crystal clear: your ability to architect microservices has ZERO correlation with your desire to troubleshoot hardware from 2003. The real plot twist? You'll still end up fixing it anyway because saying no to family is apparently harder than solving LeetCode hard problems.

When RAM prices are so astronomically insane that you're literally praying to foreign governments for salvation! Two sticks of RAM for $138? That's not a price, that's a RANSOM NOTE. Meanwhile, CXMT (China's memory manufacturer) is out here looking like the hero nobody expected but EVERYONE desperately needs right now. The tech industry has become so unhinged that we're genuinely celebrating geopolitical interventions in the RAM market. What a time to be alive – where downloading more RAM sounds less ridiculous than actually buying it. Your gaming rig upgrade fund just turned into a down payment on a used car, and suddenly international trade relations are your new favorite topic.

The great GPU drowning of 2023! While the high-end RTX 5080 and 4090 giraffes stand tall in the deep end smugly claiming "Unreal Engine 5 is working smooth af," all the budget cards are desperately trying to keep their heads above water. That poor RTX 2060 is basically underwater at this point. Nothing quite captures the existential dread of trying to run modern game engines on aging hardware. Epic Games be like "minimum requirements: whatever card was released yesterday." Meanwhile, game devs are nodding sympathetically while secretly adding another particle system that'll bring your GPU to its knees.

EMERGENCY MEDICAL ALERT: Gamers suffering from severe hardware deficiency! The classic stroke symptoms have evolved - now including the terrifying ability to brag about running Borderlands 4 at 60 FPS on a 5090 graphics card that doesn't even exist yet ! 💀 The only treatment? Selling your kidney for the next GPU or accepting that your pathetic 30 FPS life is basically the computing equivalent of the Stone Age. Thoughts and prayers for all PC gamers with last year's "obsolete" $2000 setup! 🙏