The Original Vibe Coders

Ah, the dystopian future we've built ourselves! Smart beds that need AWS to function properly is peak 21st century nonsense. Imagine spending $3000 on a bed that suddenly decides to turn into a George Foreman grill because some server farm in Virginia had a hiccup. This is why my grandpa's wooden bed frame from 1962 remains undefeated. Zero cloud dependencies, zero chance of waking up at a 45-degree angle because a DevOps intern pushed to production on a Friday afternoon. Remember when "it just works" meant something actually worked? Now it means "it just works until the next outage, then you're sleeping in a hot dog toaster."

Ah, the classic GPU model number trap. When your "upgrade" from a GTX 1080 Ti to an RTX 5060 gives you a 5× performance boost... or does it? Someone clearly forgot that Nvidia's marketing department is playing 4D chess with these model numbers. The 1080 in the chart is just the model number, not the performance score, while 5060 is the actual benchmark. It's like comparing apples to... well, model numbers of apples. This is why senior devs trust benchmarks, not fancy digits in product names.

Ah, Sony's corporate strategy in a nutshell! While other companies might embrace industry standards, Sony's out here like a toddler refusing to share toys. Remember MiniDisc? Memory Stick? ATRAC? Blu-ray? It's like they have a pathological need to create their own proprietary format for everything , then act shocked when the rest of the tech world doesn't bow down in reverence. Their business model is basically "make consumers buy our specific cables and adapters until they weep." The tech equivalent of saying "I'm taking my ball and going home" except the ball is a weird pentagon shape that only fits in Sony-approved goals.

The ultimate solution to the age-old "grub is too complicated" complaint. Just slap two light switches on a box, label one "WIN 10" and the other "LINUX," and you've got yourself a dual-boot setup that even management could understand. No more fighting with boot loaders or partition tables—just flip the switch and go. Sure, it's probably just wired to the power button, but sometimes the simplest solution is the most elegant. If only UEFI was this straightforward.

Ah yes, the natural evolution of a gamer. First, you tolerate 30 FPS like some kind of barbarian. Then you ascend to 60 FPS and feel enlightened. At 144 FPS, you're practically a deity among mortals. But the final form? Having a $3000 gaming rig that collects dust while you spend 18 hours a day explaining to strangers why their preferred graphics card is objectively wrong. The true endgame isn't playing games—it's arguing about them with the passion of someone defending their doctoral thesis.

The double meaning hits harder than a memory leak at 3 AM. You want fancy RGB RAM with rainbow lighting that'll make your build look like a unicorn exploded? Cool, that'll cost you more than a literal RAM truck. The irony is delicious: in 2021, you couldn't afford a Dodge RAM because of chip shortages. In 2025, you still can't afford RAM, but now it's the computer kind because GPU and memory prices have gone absolutely feral. At least the truck gets you places. Your DDR5 just gets you slightly faster compile times and the privilege of telling people at parties that you have 128GB of RAM.