The Great GPU Hypocrisy Highway

Behold the evolution of versioning sophistication! From the barbaric simplicity of "1, 2, 3" (did we even have computers back then?), to the refined elegance of "1.0, 1.1, 1.2" that makes project managers feel professional, and finally ascending to godhood with "8086, 80286, 80386" – where you're not just versioning software, you're naming it after the silicon it runs on. Nothing says "I've been in this industry since punch cards" like referencing Intel processors from the 1980s. The true power move isn't semantic versioning – it's naming your releases after increasingly obsolete hardware.

OH. MY. GOD. This absolute MADLAD has transcended the boundaries of conventional computing! 😱 While the rest of us peasants are out here separating our monitors from our PC cases like CAVEMEN, this revolutionary genius said "why waste desk space when I could create the world's most bizarre all-in-one?!" It's the hardware equivalent of putting pineapple on pizza – simultaneously horrifying and fascinating. The transparent side panel that's supposed to show off fancy RGB components? NOPE! That's now your PRIMARY DISPLAY, honey! Cooling? Ergonomics? Cable management? Those are for the WEAK! This is what happens when someone takes "thinking outside the box" way too literally by putting everything INSIDE the box instead! I'm having an existential crisis just looking at it!

NASA, the literal ROCKET SCIENTISTS who put humans on the moon, fixed a multi-billion dollar space telescope with the EXACT SAME TECHNIQUE I use when my Wi-Fi stops working! 💀 The pinnacle of human engineering and astronomical achievement, the Hubble telescope, gets the same treatment as my $20 router from Best Buy. I'm SCREAMING! All those PhDs and fancy degrees, and their ultimate solution was "have you tried turning it off and on again?" The universal IT support mantra transcends even the vacuum of space!

Ah yes, the ancient VGA connector - designed with thumb screws that nobody ever uses... until now. Someone's gone full MacGyver and used a VGA cable to hang their PC tower from the wall. That's what we call "hardware mounting" in the most literal sense. Saves desk space, doubles as modern art, and ensures your computer has excellent ventilation. Just don't tell your IT department - they'll either fire you or promote you on the spot.

You spend weeks researching parts, comparing benchmarks, and finally drop $1200 on your dream machine. Then some YouTuber with industry connections and free components casually builds something twice as powerful for the "same budget." Suddenly your pride and joy feels like a potato with a fan strapped to it. The eternal cycle of hardware buyer's remorse—where your PC is obsolete before you've even finished installing the bloatware.

That's the Portal cake logo with "The MSRP is a lie" repeated like a dystopian mantra. Graphics card prices haven't been this fictional since cryptocurrency miners were building rigs in their mothers' basements. Manufacturers slap on MSRPs that belong in fantasy novels while retailers mark them up to "market value" – which is corporate speak for "whatever desperate gamers will pay." Nothing says "modern computing" like needing a second mortgage for a GPU that'll be obsolete before you finish paying it off.