I'm Rich Now

When you understand how technology actually works, you realize that "smart home" is just a fancy way of saying "200 attack vectors living rent-free in your house." Mechanical locks can't be phished, mechanical windows don't need security patches, and OpenWRT routers are basically the programmer's way of saying "I trust myself more than I trust Cisco." Meanwhile, tech enthusiasts are out here treating their homes like beta testing environments for every IoT device that promises convenience. Voice assistants? That's just always-on microphones with extra steps. Internet-connected thermostats? Because what could possibly go wrong with letting your HVAC join a botnet? The real power move is the 2004 printer with a loaded gun next to it. Because if two decades of dealing with printer drivers has taught us anything, it's that printers are inherently evil and must be dealt with using extreme prejudice. PC LOAD LETTER? More like PC LOAD LEAD.

A masterful historical burn. The meme references Marie Antoinette's infamous "let them eat cake" quote when told the peasants had no bread, showcasing her disconnection from reality. Similarly, suggesting Macs as an alternative to expensive GPUs is equally out of touch—like recommending a $2000+ computer known for mediocre gaming performance to someone who can't afford a graphics card. It's the tech equivalent of suggesting caviar to someone who can't afford ramen.

Oh, just a casual Tuesday in the server room where someone decided to create a modern art installation titled "Ethernet Cable Massacre." Look at those poor RJ45 connectors just... existing in their half-crimped, wire-exposed glory, scattered around like the aftermath of a networking battlefield. Someone clearly had ONE job—crimp these cables properly—and instead chose violence. The MikroTik Cloud Router Switch sitting there all pristine and professional while surrounded by this absolute chaos of exposed twisted pairs is sending me. It's giving "I showed up to a black-tie event and everyone else came in pajamas" energy. Pro tip: This is what happens when you let the intern handle cable management after watching one YouTube tutorial at 2x speed. Those wires are more exposed than my code on GitHub, and just as embarrassing.

Ah, the mythical Linux battery life! 81% battery with 55 hours remaining while in "Performance" mode? That's not a power management system, that's a fantasy novel . Windows users get excited about 3 hours of battery life while Linux is over here claiming your laptop can outlast the apocalypse. The best part? Someone has it in "High performance" mode, which on any other OS would drain your battery faster than a TikTok scrolling session. Linux is basically saying "I can make your 2012 laptop battery perform like it's powered by arc reactor technology from Iron Man." Sure, Jan. 🙄

When your gaming rig is LITERALLY going down the toilet! Someone has taken PC building to catastrophic new depths by cramming an entire motherboard into a porcelain throne! The ultimate solution for those marathon gaming sessions where bathroom breaks are just too inconvenient. 💩 The cooling system must be SPECTACULAR—just push that little lever for an instant water cooling flush! And hey, if your code crashes, at least you're already in the right place to deal with the emotional aftermath!

When USB-C was announced back in 2014, the tech world promised us a glorious future where one cable would rule them all. Fast forward to 2026, and motherboards are still rocking more USB-A ports than a 2010 gaming rig. The "universal" connector that was supposed to replace everything is now just... another port we need to carry adapters for. Turns out backward compatibility is both a blessing and a curse. Sure, your new laptop has USB-C, but good luck finding a motherboard that doesn't have like 15 USB-A ports because manufacturers know you've got a drawer full of peripherals from the Obama administration that you're not ready to let go of yet. The eternal struggle between innovation and "but my keyboard from 2008 still works perfectly fine."