I'm Rich Now

College kid: "They still teach 8051 assembly programming in Indian colleges." The rest of the tech industry: *comforting embrace* "It's not your fault." For the uninitiated, 8051 is a microcontroller architecture from 1980 . Teaching it in 2024 is like forcing civil engineering students to build bridges with sticks and mud while modern construction companies use carbon fiber and AI structural analysis. No wonder Indian grads need therapy before their first real-world Git commit.

The AUDACITY of our phones needing a charge! 💀 Meanwhile, we'll literally perform OPEN HEART SURGERY on our PCs - repasting thermal compound like we're Gordon Ramsay plating a filet mignon, vacuuming dust bunnies that have formed their own civilization, debugging software that's more temperamental than a cat, and installing 47 different drivers just so our RGB lighting syncs properly. But heaven forbid our phone battery drops below 20% and suddenly we're hurling insults that would make a sailor blush. The duality of tech devotion is SENDING ME.

Someone bought 192GB of DDR5 RAM for $500 and never installed it. Now they're sitting on what's probably worth $1000+ because DDR5 prices have gone absolutely bonkers. The joke is treating RAM like a retirement investment portfolio—"living off the interest" as if these memory sticks are bonds or stocks. The real tragedy? They bought hardware meant to be used and it's just collecting dust while DDR5 prices skyrocketed. Classic programmer move: buy the gear for that dream build you'll "definitely start next weekend," then watch it appreciate in value while your current machine struggles with 16GB and 47 Chrome tabs. Honestly, better ROI than most crypto investments. Who needs Bitcoin when you can just hoard RAM during a shortage?

The universal law of cable management: what's visible must be immaculate, what's hidden can resemble a nest built by drunk squirrels. The PSU shroud, that magical black box where cable sins go to die. It's like wearing a tuxedo to a meeting while your underwear drawer looks like it survived a hurricane. Priorities.

That moment when you're about to rage-quit over Nvidia's RTX 50-series not supporting your precious PhysX games, but then they whisper sweet nothings about the RTX 5070 having "4090-like performance" for half the price. Suddenly, you're reaching for your wallet faster than you can say "my old games weren't that good anyway." The classic tech cycle: complain about missing features → see shiny new specs → financial common sense leaves the chat. We never learn, do we?

Remember when you could buy a graphics card without taking out a second mortgage? The "expectation" shows a humble GT440 from 9 years ago - probably cost you a reasonable $100 and could run Minecraft without setting your desk on fire. Fast forward to "reality" and we've got a monstrous GTX 1080Ti that costs more than some used cars and requires its own nuclear power plant. The best part? Both cards are equally impossible to find in stock. The crypto miners got the new ones, and your weird cousin who "builds gaming PCs" hoarded all the old ones.