You Guys Are Paying For Git?

Ah, the sweet moment of realization when you discover your worst enemy is actually yourself from two years ago. Nothing like ranting about "horrible functions" and "antipatterns" only to find git blame pointing directly back at you. The real senior developer milestone isn't writing perfect code—it's having the humility to admit that past-you was an absolute disaster who had no idea what they were doing. And future-you will think the same about present-you. It's the circle of code life.

The silent war between developers in a shared repository is brutal. One minute you're proudly displaying your "Days Since Our Last Incident" counter, and the next minute your coworker executes the nuclear option: git rm -rf <repo> followed by git clone <repo> . That's not version control—that's version annihilation . It's the coding equivalent of "have you tried turning it off and on again?" but with a side of existential dread as you watch your commit history potentially vanish into the void. The look of betrayal in the first panel versus the cold, merciless expression in the second panel perfectly captures the emotional damage of repository scorched-earth tactics.

The hierarchy of developer validation is hilariously backwards. 1000 Instagram followers? Meh. 100 Twitter followers? Whatever. 5 Reddit followers? Now we're talking. But 1 GitHub follower? ABSOLUTE GODMODE ACTIVATED. That single GitHub follower means someone actually values your code enough to stalk your digital creations. It's like having a secret admirer who's into your algorithms instead of your looks. Essentially the programming equivalent of being chosen by the cool kids. Meanwhile, your mom still thinks you "fix computers" for a living.

Someone named Devin on the team got fired, and the devs decided to immortalize the moment by removing the @ts-expect-error comment that was basically saying "yeah TypeScript will yell at you here, but trust me bro, it works." The deleted comment is pure gold though: "DEVIN, STOP REMOVING THIS LINE YOU DUMBASS, YES TYPESCRIPT DOES THROW AN ERROR IF YOU DON'T HAVE IT, NO THIS IS NOT 'UNUSED', AND YES YOU HAVE BROKEN OUR CI PIPELINE EVERY TIME YOU DO IT" You can almost feel the rage of whoever wrote that after Devin broke the build for the third time in a week. Poor Devin probably thought they were being helpful by "cleaning up unused code" without understanding what @ts-expect-error actually does. Now that Devin's gone, the comment can finally be removed... because there's no one left to keep removing it. RIP to the CI pipeline's most frequent visitor.

The pain of revisiting your brainchild only to find it's been "enhanced" by the new maintainers is a special kind of developer trauma. You pour your soul into clean architecture, sensible naming conventions, and thoughtful documentation—then return months later to find spaghetti code, 1000-line functions, and variables named "temp1" through "temp47." It's like watching your elegant creation get transformed into a coding horror show that would make even Stack Overflow moderators weep. The git blame feature becomes your personal torture device as you scroll through the commit history and whisper "what have they done to you?"

OH. MY. GOD. That sweet, sweet message from GitHub: "This branch has no conflicts with the base branch." It's like finding a unicorn riding a rainbow! Developers spend CENTURIES of their lives resolving merge conflicts, sobbing into their keyboards while trying to figure out why everyone keeps modifying the same three lines of code. But then THIS happens—a clean merge—and suddenly life has meaning again! It's the programming equivalent of finding out your crush likes you back. PURE. ECSTASY. 💚