Its Just Scaffolding

The dev job market in four emotional stages: 1. Mild confidence : "I know 6 languages? That's decent, right?" 2. Excited overconfidence : "30 GitHub projects?! I'm basically a 10x developer at this point!" 3. Nuclear meltdown mode : *Frantically scrolling LinkedIn* "Wait, they want 12 years experience in a 5-year-old framework?!" 4. Existential despair : *Staring into the void* "10,000 applicants... one position... my resume is probably being used as digital scratch paper." The tech hiring funnel: where your impostor syndrome gets validated by actual numbers.

Nothing triggers impostor syndrome quite like scrolling through GitHub and finding Luigi here with dual CS degrees from an Ivy League school, 3500 followers, and probably a contribution graph that looks like a Manhattan skyline. Meanwhile, you're still struggling to center a div and your most impressive achievement is fixing a bug by restarting your computer. The cherry on top? He's probably 22 and already has FAANG offers while you're surviving on Stack Overflow copypasta and praying nobody reviews your code too carefully. But hey, at least you know how to exit Vim... sometimes.

Time traveler's first rule: check the I/O ports before packing. Nothing says "mission failed" quite like bringing a USB stick to a floppy party. The violent solution seems appropriate - that 90s computer clearly deserves what's coming after the crushing realization that your entire GitHub repo won't fit on 1.44MB. Pro tip: next time, bring a parallel port adapter and enough patience to last until 2023.

Ah, the sacred unspoken rules of society! Don't ask women their age, don't ask men their salary, and for the love of all that is holy, DO NOT ask a developer what their commit messages actually mean. That cryptic "Fixed stuff" covering 47 file changes? The mysterious "It works now" with no explanation? The passive-aggressive "Finally fixed the stupid bug"? These are personal diary entries of pain, triumph, and existential crisis that shall remain forever unexplained. Inquiring about commit messages is like asking someone to explain their browser history. Some things are better left buried in the git log where they belong.

That moment when a junior dev proudly announces they've "cleaned up" the codebase by removing "unused" functions, and suddenly the entire production environment collapses like a tree cut from its support. The code wasn't commented because the senior who wrote it was too busy putting out other fires to document why that "useless" function was actually holding up the entire architecture. Five minutes before the demo, everyone's frantically digging through Git history trying to figure out what the hell that Pink Panther function actually did.

The evolution from "normal person" to "command line warrior" in one image. Left side: filenames with spaces and capitalization that make terminal users cry tears of blood. Right side: the enlightened path of snake_case and underscores that won't break your scripts at 2AM. Nothing says "I've seen things" like renaming all your files to avoid escaping spaces with backslashes. The real rite of passage isn't learning to code—it's learning why "IMPORTNAT DOCUMENT!!!" makes seasoned developers twitch uncontrollably.