Gentleman, The Merge Request Trap Has Been Sprung

That face when someone suggests replacing Git with Excel. The silent scream of a thousand merge conflicts yet to come. Next they'll propose using PowerPoint for CI/CD pipelines because "it has nice transitions." Some people just want to watch the world burn—one corrupted spreadsheet at a time.

The eternal Git confession we all make but never admit to. You know that moment when you've been wrestling with merge conflicts for two hours, documentation is just a suggestion, and suddenly git push -f starts looking like a completely reasonable life choice? That's this meme in its purest form. The "it" being pushed is both the code AND the responsibility for whatever chaos ensues. The typo in "JUSTR" is just *chef's kiss* - perfectly representing the frantic energy of someone who's about to nuke the remote repository while muttering "I'll fix it in production."

Ah, the classic door handle labeled "PUSH" – the physical manifestation of what happens when you try to force a git push to main without pulling first. That feeling when you're shoving with all your might, wondering why the hell it's not working, only to realize you needed to sync your local branch first. Ten years of coding experience and I still sometimes stand there like an idiot, pushing on a door that clearly requires me to pull changes before I can proceed. The universe's way of saying "merge conflicts incoming."

Ah, the unmistakable signature of a junior developer's code comments! That stop sign with the helpful clarification "THIS IS A STOP SIGN" perfectly captures the redundant commenting style that senior devs silently judge. It's like writing i++; // increments i by 1 or // The following function calculates the sum right above a function literally named calculateSum() . The code review gods weep silently as another obvious comment gets committed to the repo. Self-documenting code? Never heard of her.

The pinnacle of version control laziness: just add * to your .gitignore and call it a day. Why carefully select which files to ignore when you can ignore everything and manually add each file you want? It's like burning down your house to avoid cleaning it, then rebuilding one room at a time. Genius time-saving strategy until you need to git add -f 500 files. Works every time, 0% of the time.

Ah yes, the famous "GitHub Dictionary" where repositories are just "big chunks of code" and forking is "the term for code editing." And my personal favorite: a pull request is apparently an "e-note" asking for "edit rights." It's like watching your grandparents try to explain what you do for a living after you mentioned it once at Thanksgiving dinner. Next up: "The Hacker Known as Terminal" and "Why Cloud Computing Requires Umbrellas."