It's Go-DOH Not Go-Lang

The eternal dilemma of our time: spend $2,000 on the latest RTX 4090 graphics card that'll be obsolete in 18 months, or invest in 1,342 pieces of garlic bread that will bring immediate joy and carb-induced euphoria? Tough choice for any dev working on rendering engines from home. The bread won't help you run Cyberpunk at max settings, but it also won't make your electricity bill rival the GDP of a small nation. Plus, garlic bread has never required a driver update or crashed during a deadline.

OMG, someone actually created a programming language to write code for Scratch - you know, that block-based programming tool designed for CHILDREN! 💀 The absolute AUDACITY of creating a text-based compiler with Rust that outputs to Scratch! It's like building a rocket ship to drive to your mailbox! They even had the nerve to add GitHub Copilot support and error detection like it's some kind of serious development environment! Just look at that gorgeous code at the bottom - writing actual text to generate those cute little colorful blocks with the cat mascot. It's the programming equivalent of using a sledgehammer to hang a picture frame! I'm DYING! 😭

Ah, the mythical "3" in software – where dreams go to die. Just like gamers waiting for Half-Life 3 or Battlefront 3, programmers know the pain of Python 3 migration hell, IPv6 adoption (because we skipped IPv5), and that one legacy codebase that will never reach version 3.0. The utopian future shown here is basically what happens when a developer finally fixes that one bug that's been in the backlog for 7 years. Pure fantasy. Meanwhile, we're all still using workarounds from Stack Overflow posts from 2011.

When some Gen Alpha kid in 2064 tries to explain Alt+F4 to you like it's revolutionary tech... Listen here, youngster. I've been refreshing browsers since before your parents were born. I've witnessed the birth of keyboard shortcuts, survived the IE6 era, and debugged code on dial-up. Alt+F4 isn't just a command—it's a relic from an age when we had to trick interns into closing their work with it. The ancient keyboard arts weren't taught; they were suffered through .

OMG, the AUDACITY of this bell curve! 😤 Cheap games are for the intellectual EXTREMES of society! Meanwhile, the average IQ masses are over here throwing away $80 on AAA titles that'll be in the bargain bin next month! The gaming industry's greatest achievement is convincing the mediocre middle that expensive = quality, while both the brilliant geniuses AND complete simpletons are playing Terraria and having the time of their lives for $9.99! The math doesn't lie, people - true gaming enlightenment is found at both ends of the IQ spectrum!

The eternal dilemma of indie game developers - choosing between making progress on your passion project or pretending to have a normal life. That finger is hovering over the red button with the conviction of someone who's already canceled three social events this month. The weekend isn't for rest - it's for debugging that physics engine you've been wrestling with since February!