It's Go-DOH Not Go-Lang

Modern gaming is just a purple cat getting mugged from all directions. Day-one patches because who needs finished products? Lootboxes to empty your wallet through randomized "surprise mechanics." Crypto scams promising you'll totally own that JPEG of a monkey. And let's not forget the AI slop—half-baked "features" created by algorithms that somehow make games worse. Meanwhile, game studios keep recycling franchises and flipping assets while charging full price. The real game is seeing how much abuse players will tolerate before they stop throwing money at microtransactions. But hey, at least we get that dopamine hit of nostalgia bait when they remake that game you loved as a kid... for the third time.

When your friend asks you to "just code a simple chess game," and you realize you need to handle every possible board state individually. That's 2.6 million lines of if-else statements because who needs algorithms when you can hardcode each move? The beautiful part is that technically it's an O(1) solution! Chess engines hate this one weird trick - just write out every possible game state and skip all that fancy minimax algorithm nonsense. Bonus: your git commits will make it look like you're the most productive developer in history. "Added support for knight moves - 400,000 lines changed."

The evolution of commit messages is the programmer's descent into madness. First panel: "Bugfix" - the bare minimum effort when you just want to go home. Second panel: "102: Fixed double-jump" - slightly better, at least there's a ticket number. Third panel: "fix: double-jump bug in PlayerController; resolves issue #102" - the brief moment of professionalism when you think someone might actually read your commits. Fourth panel: "Lots of changes lol; Fixed low key sus double-jump yeeting players off map; also fire refactor of all movement physics fr" - the complete breakdown where you're mixing conventional commits with stream-of-consciousness ramblings and Gen Z slang. This is what happens at 3 AM when you've been debugging the same issue since yesterday and your brain is running on energy drinks and spite.

When you're showing off your 3D modeling skills to non-technical friends and they can't tell the difference between a basic capsule primitive and your meticulously crafted character with proper topology, UV mapping, and rigging. That moment when you've spent 8 hours tweaking vertices and they're like "cool bean shape with eyes."

That special moment when you find the perfect GPU for your build, only to discover it costs more than your car payment, rent, and firstborn child combined. The crypto miners and scalpers have turned hardware shopping into a financial horror movie. Just smile through the pain as you contemplate selling a kidney on the black market for that sweet, sweet RTX performance.

Ah yes, the classic LinkedIn tech post where someone claims Fortnite was built with C++ and Minecraft with Java—technically correct! But then there's the masterpiece known as "MOHBGS"... which doesn't exist. It's the perfect representation of those LinkedIn "experts" who confidently list technologies they've never touched and games they've never played just to appear knowledgeable. The digital equivalent of nodding along in meetings when you have no idea what's being discussed. Resume padding has evolved into an art form!