The Responsive Design Paradox

Content Front End engineers having to now learn VR Development ProdrammerHumor.io

Content When l'm shitting on JavaScript and the TypeScript developer thinks l'm on his side

Content Things I have learnt from this subreddit as a non programmer - Users just do things that they are not supposed to do and It looks like they are purposely trying to break the code. - Legacy code is written and understood only by gods and they only way to convert it into modern code is to fucking write the thing from scratch. - Jobs require ungodly amount of experience. They want a full stack developer EVERY FUCKING TIME. - Senior devs have given up on life and they just do just enough to get their salaries. They work on production just for the thriller. - There is a communication gap between the client and the programmer just because of the fucking management. - You should never work on the main branch and push things to production but its the norm. - Debugging is staring at the code until it works again. - Programmers just copy and paste code. The only real programmers to ever exist are Terry Davis and some random people who maintain libraries that are responsible for doing math on every computer on the planet. - There is just some mystery code in every codebase that appears to do nothing but when removed sets everything in flames. It is usually commented "Don't touch". - If you ask anything on StackOverflow, Its a stupid question. - Sales teams tell the client that the devs can make everything happen even if its computationally impossible. - Its better to take 5 hours solving bugs rather than spend 5 minutes reading the documentation. Programmers don't have lives anyways. - If you are seeking to learn programming learn JavaScript. The next step is to find a new career

Content This is a motherfucking website. And it's tucking bertect. seriousiv, wat tne luck else do you want You probably build websites and think your tive home page is going to get you some lucKIng Awwward banner vou can glue very file and 83 p boner because it finally has box-shadow. Wrong, motherfucker. Let me describe your perfect-ass website: Shit's lightweight and loads fast on all your shitty screens Looks the same in all your shitty browsers ole that visits your site Shit's legible and gets your fucking point across (if you had one instead of just 5mb Well guess what, mothertucker: You. Are. Over-designing Look at this shit. It's a motherfucking website. Why the fuck do you need to animate a fucking trendy-ass banner flag when I hover over that useless piece of shit? You spent hours on it and adde n their iPad with fat sausage fingers will never see that shit. Not nd people will never see that shit, but they don't see any of your shitty shit. You never knew it, but this is your perfect It's fucking lightweight This entire page weighs less than the gradient- Did you seriously load 100kb could say "Hi." at 100px height at the beginni It's responsive You dumbass. You thought you needed media s to whatever It fucking works Look at this shit. You can read it ... that is, if has motherfucking hierarchy. It's using HIML5 tags so you and your bitch-ass browser know what the fuck's in this fucking site. That's semantics mothertucker It has content on the fucking screen. Your sitt s and link t ar dribble account, but you spread it over 7 full screens and make me click some bobbing button to show me how cool the iOnerv ScrollTo pluoir motherlucKer in lLo. I TUcking dare vou This is a website. Look AT IT rollove nev seen one Like the man y who's never grown out his beard rdizations of what should be text nicating a fucking message. This is a reanaked website ook at it.at' Yes, this is fucking satire, you fuck I'm not actually saying your shitty site should look like this. What I'm sayi ing is that all the problems we have with websites are ones we create ourselves. Websites aren't broken by default, they are functional, high-performing, "Good design is as little design as some German motherfucker Epilogue From the philosophies expressed (poorly)

Content Disabling the right click button on a website to prevent users for copying text or pictures is as useful as this gate CREASE Clost GATE

Content Jake Williams MalwareJake Follow Dear web developers, The answer is zero. Zero. Get it through your thick skulls. Zero is the number of times anyone has EVER wanted something to autoplay on your site and start making noise. I'd honestly rather you mine crypto-currency in my browser than use my speakers. kthxbye 1:24 AM - 25 Feb 2018 10,894 Retweets 41,195 Likes 560 17 11K V