The Forbidden Button Pattern

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Content Oh no! You notice that a trolley is heading towards 5 people. You can easily pull the lever to divert it to the other track, but your PM wants you to create a Jira ticket for it first, with a thorough description and steps to reproduce, epic and sprint assigned, story points and hours estimated, and that you keep updating its status through the workflow steps when making progress on pulling the lever. What do you do? Jira

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute TRAGEDY of modern development! Above ground, we see a sad little developer trudging through a grassy wasteland, utterly ABANDONED at a funeral while everyone else is busy swooning over some happy couple. Meanwhile, BENEATH THE SURFACE lies the REAL party - where all the cool programming languages and tools (VS Code, Node.js, JavaScript, Java) are having the time of their lives! It's the perfect metaphor for our existence - suffering in silence while our code has more social interaction than we do! The crushing irony? We create these amazing tools that connect the world while we're too busy debugging to attend our friend's wedding. The digital basement dwellers creating everyone else's happiness! Such is the glamorous life we've chosen! *dramatically faints onto keyboard*