Dark patterns Memes

Posts tagged with Dark patterns

Cookies Be Like

Cookies Be Like
The eternal lie of the web. You click "don't show again" on a cookie notice, refresh the page, and boom—there it is again. It's like websites have the memory of a goldfish but only for user preferences. Meanwhile, they somehow remember that one embarrassing product you looked at 7 years ago to show in targeted ads. The irony of a site claiming it "doesn't use cookies" while clearly not remembering your preference is just *chef's kiss*. The digital equivalent of telling someone your name and them asking what your name is 30 seconds later.

The Cookie Banner Conspiracy

The Cookie Banner Conspiracy
Somewhere in an alternate universe, browser makers actually considered user experience over ad revenue. Imagine a world where you set your cookie preferences ONCE instead of clicking "Reject All" 47 times per day like some deranged cookie-hating woodpecker. But no—that would be too convenient. The suits had a good laugh about that one before going back to their champagne and "innovative monetization strategies." Meanwhile, the rest of us are trapped in cookie banner hell, our fingers developing repetitive strain injuries from declining tracking on the same sites we visited yesterday.

Am I The Only One Tired Of Chatbots?

Am I The Only One Tired Of Chatbots?
Look, I've been building websites since the <blink> tag was cool, and nothing makes me reach for my metaphorical weapon faster than those damn chatbots popping up in every corner of the internet. They're like that coworker who keeps interrupting your flow with "quick questions." No, I don't want to "chat with a representative" when I'm just trying to check your business hours. No, I don't need a floating bubble following me around asking if I'm "finding everything okay." Just let me browse in peace! The only thing these chatbots have successfully helped me with is developing my clicking-the-X reflex to Olympic levels.

The Forbidden Button Pattern

The Forbidden Button Pattern
The ultimate reverse psychology UI pattern! Some brilliant dev created buttons that say "Please don't touch this" right next to "Click here to purchase" – essentially guaranteeing everyone will press the forbidden button. It's the digital equivalent of putting a big red button labeled "DO NOT PRESS" in front of curious humans. The implementation is so beautifully lazy yet effective that it deserves a spot in the Hall of Fame for Malicious Compliance . The dev clearly understood that humans are hardwired to do exactly what they're told not to do. Probably knocked this out 5 minutes before the deadline while muttering "ship it and let QA deal with it."

Still In 2024: The Obstacle Course We Call The Internet

Still In 2024: The Obstacle Course We Call The Internet
Browsing the web in 2024 is basically playing a game of "Popup Whack-a-Mole" before you can actually read anything. Two years later and nothing's changed - we've just gotten faster at the cookie-decline-video-stop-popup-close speedrun. The real achievement isn't finding the information you need, it's remembering what you were looking for after battling through five layers of digital harassment. Modern web developers aren't creating websites anymore; they're designing obstacle courses with a tiny content reward at the end.