The Unsaid Rule Of Friday Deployments

Someone just reinvented Git while lamenting 4 months of lost work. It's like watching someone suggest we should invent the wheel right after their cart broke down. The real horror isn't the lost code—it's realizing there's an entire generation of developers who think "version control" is just hitting Ctrl+S more aggressively when things get scary. Pro tip: If your deployment strategy is "pray nothing breaks," you're gonna have a bad time.

The golden rule of IT that absolutely no one teaches in computer science degrees. After spending 14 hours debugging some arcane system just to get it working, you develop a healthy fear of touching anything that functions. Sure, that server's been running on a Pentium II since 2003 and is held together with duct tape and prayers, but hey—it hasn't crashed in 6 years, so it's officially the most stable part of your infrastructure.

OH. MY. GOD. This coworker just committed a CRIME against humanity! They aliased git push to git push -f ?! That's like replacing someone's regular coffee with ROCKET FUEL! 💥 For the uninitiated, git push -f is the NUCLEAR OPTION of Git commands - it FORCES your changes to the remote repository, OBLITERATING any commits that might be there. Your team's carefully crafted code history? POOF! GONE! VANISHED! It's basically telling Git, "I don't CARE what's on the server, MY version is the truth now!" This is the digital equivalent of setting your workplace on fire because you're tired of the printer jamming. That branch isn't just toast - it's INCINERATED, CREMATED, and scattered to the winds! 🔥⚰️

The ultimate programmer flex: telling someone to "use vim keys" instead of arrow keys. This meme perfectly captures the elitism of Vim users who navigate with hjkl and look down on the peasants using arrow keys. The reply "Skill issue" is the programming equivalent of "git gud" - because obviously your testosterone levels are directly proportional to your ability to memorize keyboard shortcuts from the 1970s. Next time someone complains about tiny arrow keys, just stroke your neckbeard and whisper " I use Vim btw " while maintaining uncomfortable eye contact.

Ah, the eternal dance of delusion! The top panel shows a developer having an existential crisis trying to estimate project time—because apparently calculating how long it takes to build something that's never been built before is totally reasonable. Meanwhile, the bottom panel reveals the Project Manager, already promising the client it'll be done by yesterday with a smile that screams "I've just committed us to digital seppuku." The perfect representation of why we all have trust issues and caffeine addictions. The PM's optimism is adorable—like watching someone confidently walk into a glass door while giving a TED talk about spatial awareness.

The SRE just found the ultimate loophole to the genie's billion-dollar challenge, and the genie immediately shut that down faster than you can say "unexpected billing alert." Anyone who's ever deployed anything on AWS knows that mysterious $100M bill is just a few forgotten EC2 instances away. One day you're launching a "small test environment," the next day you're explaining to your CEO why your startup needs another funding round just to pay this month's cloud bill. Even supernatural beings with infinite cosmic power know better than to mess with AWS pricing. The fourth rule? "No cloud services that scale automatically and drain your life savings while you sleep."