Pipeline Goes Brrr

The universal hatred for CMake transcends all intelligence levels! The meme shows an IQ bell curve with people at every point—from 55 to 145—united in their collective trauma of writing CMakeLists.txt files at 3AM while sobbing uncontrollably. The "well ackchyually" guy at the bottom represents that one teammate who claims to understand CMake but still copy-pastes from StackOverflow like the rest of us. Nothing brings C++ developers together like the shared existential dread of finding yourself in dependency hell with zero documentation. It's the build system we all use and absolutely nobody enjoys!

Freezing to death in your apartment? Don't worry, just run a Gradle build and WITNESS THE MIRACLE! Your computer will transform into a thermonuclear reactor that could heat an entire ZIP code! The desperate "run gradle build" solution is the programmer's equivalent of setting your money on fire for warmth—except this fire comes with a progress bar and enough CPU usage to make your laptop levitate off the desk! Who needs central heating when your development environment doubles as a space heater that could probably be seen from the International Space Station?!

The eternal developer dilemma: why complete a task in seconds when you can spend an entire workday crafting an elaborate automation script that you'll use exactly once? It's not laziness—it's tactical inefficiency . Sure, the math doesn't add up (10 seconds vs. 10 hours), but that's not the point. The point is that we'd rather solve an interesting programming challenge than do a mundane task. Somewhere, a project manager just felt a disturbance in the force. And yes, we'll absolutely claim it was "for future scalability" in the sprint retrospective.

Ah, "vibe coded" – the spiritual successor to "works on my machine." When your code review consists of vibing with it instead of actual testing. Security professionals are salivating at the job security these startups are creating. Nothing says "future CVE entry" quite like an app built on good feelings and zero documentation. The cybersecurity industry thanks you for your service.

Every dev knows that feeling when someone suggests a Friday deployment. Suddenly the whole team turns into a hit squad ready to take you out. The unspoken rule of "thou shalt not deploy on Friday" exists for a reason—nobody wants their weekend ruined by production fires while they're three beers deep at happy hour. The true violence isn't the guns; it's forcing your team to debug a broken API when they should be starting their weekend.

When a developer thinks they're a Git wizard but hasn't quite mastered the dark arts... git push --force is basically the programming equivalent of saying "I know what I'm doing" right before catastrophe strikes. It's that command that overwrites remote history with your local changes, consequences be damned! The poor soul in this comic learned the hard way that Git doesn't come with an "undo apocalypse" button. One minute you're confidently force-pushing changes, the next you've erased months of your colleagues' work and suddenly everyone's Slack status changes to "contemplating violence." And just like that bike crash, there's no graceful recovery from nuking your team's repository. You just lie there, contemplating your career choices while frantically Googling "how to restore git history please help urgent!!!"