The Four Stages Of Debugging Grief

Content C A programming language for Real Men. Most languages try to provide a simplified way to solve specific problems well. C makes no such concession and tries to be mediocre at everything. It lets you program at a very high level, and a very low level in the same program. It lets you write procedural code, object oriented code, generic code and mix them all up. It makes you decide everything and provides no help if you get it wrong. It is by far the biggest, most complicated, ugly, down-right dangerous language you can use. But it does run fast. It takes at least twice as long to program in C as any other major language (except C). The men who program in C are Real Men. The women who program in C are Real Men too. You can spot a C programmer from their testosterone fueled swagger, and the unbelievable amount of contempt they inject into the phrase Java "programmer". They'll probably do the air quotes and all. Dev: 'Hey, Reg, you know C right? What does: "Isrc Cont. cpp(52) : error C2679: binary '': no operator found which takes a right- hand operand of type 'int' (or there is no acceptable conversion) C: Program Files Microsoft Visual Studio 8C include vector (392): could be 'std: VectoriteratorT, Alloc std:VectoriteratorTy, Alloc:operator (const std:VectoriteratorTy, Alloc' with TyMain::Cont, Allocstd allocator Main::Cont while trying to match the argument list (std::VectoriteratorTy, Alloc, int)'with TyMain::Cont, Allocstd::allocatorMain::Cont " mean?' Reg: 'You missed a semicolon at the end of the line.' ProdrammerHumor.io

BEHOLD! The eternal lie every developer tells themselves when skipping proper documentation! "Don't worry, it's super intuitive, the user will know how to use it" they proclaim with unfounded confidence, while the poor user (represented by that absolutely CONFUSED dog) tries to figure out how to enter a doghouse THROUGH THE ROOF instead of the gaping entrance! This is the EXACT SAME ENERGY as releasing software with zero tutorials and then wondering why users are filing 47,000 support tickets! The audacity! The delusion! The sheer hubris of thinking your UI is "intuitive" when users can't even find the login button! I'm having flashbacks to every product meeting where someone said "it's self-explanatory" and I nearly threw my laptop out the window!

Content runs the code 1 error fixes the error 6 errors 12 warnings

Content Engineers: Also engineers: I don't even have time to tell you how wrong you are Actually, it's gonna bug me if I don't.

When someone screams for a doctor in public, CS PhDs suddenly remember they're not that kind of doctor. But hey, who needs medical training when you've got object-oriented solutions? Our hero tries OldMan.setHealth("100%") but forgets the cardinal rule of programming: without admin privileges, you're just another user with delusions of grandeur. Classic rookie mistake. The sudo command finally saves the day because nothing says "trust me, I'm a professional" like forcing your way into a system you don't fully understand. Medical school? Nah, just need root access to the human body.

Content Asking a software developer to come and fix your hardware problem is like asking Leonardo Dicaprio to come and fix your TV. ProarammerHumor.io