The Dual Faces Of Tech Support

The AUDACITY of John! 😱 Faced with the CRUSHING WEIGHT of 3 bugs, 2 features, and a meeting, our hero makes the most REVOLUTIONARY decision in software engineering history... he just goes to sleep! 💤 This is basically the programmer's equivalent of looking at a burning building and deciding to take a nap. Pure. GENIUS. While the rest of us are mainlining caffeine and having existential crises over semicolons, John has transcended the mortal plane of developer anxiety. We should all aspire to this level of emotional detachment from our Jira tickets!

Content 9:25 4 Junior Java Developer Apexon Brentwood, TN (Remote) Junior Java Developer A raven Brentwood, TN (Remote) 8 hours aan auplicants Full-time Mid -Senior level El o,ur-to, vou employees IT Services and IT Consulting o: See recent hiring trends for Apexon. Try. Premium for free Actively recruiting Apply now Save Job description Responsibilities: Minimum 5 Years of working experience in Java Platform Experience in AWS and kafka and Daren - Dovigring und implementing Java-based applications. Analyzing user requirements to inform application design. Proficiency with fundamental front end languages such as HTML, CSS and JavaScript. Debugging and resolving technical problems that arise. Producing detailed design documentation. Recommending changes to existing Java infrastructure

Content What we say What we mean Horrible hack Homble hack that I didnt write Temporary workaround Homble hack that I wrote 'S broken There are bugs in your code It has a few issues There are bugs in my code Obscure Someone else's code doesn't have comments Self-documenting My code doesn't have comments That's why it's an awesome anquage It's my favorite language and it's really easy to do something in it. You're thinking in the wrong mindset It's my favorite language and it's really hard to do something in it. I can read this Perl script I wrote this Perl script I can't read this Perl script I didn't write this Perl script bad structure Someone else's code is badly organized Complex structure My code is badly organized Bug The absence of a feature I like our or scone The absence of a feature I don't like Clean solution It works and l understand it Wencedto rewrite it It works but I don't understand it emacs is better than vi It's too peaceful here, let's start a flame war vi is better than emacs It's too peaceful here, let's start a flame war IMHO yourare wrote Legacy code It works, but no one knows how AXCquit (ESCESCJC I don't know how to quit vi

Content When the code compiled with O errors and O warnings I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING, BUT I KNOW I'M DOING IT REALLY, REALLY WELL.

The eternal battle between sales and development continues! Here we have an airplane-cruise ship hybrid monstrosity representing client requests that defy the laws of physics, software engineering, and common sense. Every developer has been there: Sales comes barging in asking why you can't implement features that would require rewriting the entire codebase, inventing new programming languages, and possibly breaking several fundamental laws of computer science. Meanwhile, the actual request is like asking for a vehicle that's simultaneously a 747 and a cruise ship. Sure, I'll just quickly refactor the laws of aerodynamics and buoyancy during my lunch break! And you need it by Friday, right?

That moment when it hits you—your entire coding career has been reduced to "vibes" since ChatGPT arrived. No more grinding through Stack Overflow at 3 AM; now it's just "Hey AI, fix this mess" and hoping for the best. Your carefully cultivated programming skills? Just expensive intuition for prompting. Your CS degree? Just fancy paper to frame next to your "I used to write my own code" participation trophy.