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Content Shaundai Person shaundai Pro tip: use clickbait commit messages to get your teammates to review your code faster git commit -m "First she noticed a bug in production. What happens next will SHOCK vou!" 7:56 AM Dec 1, 2022 96 Retweets 10 Ouote Tweets 785 Likes

Someone: "Obfuscation doesn't work!" Meanwhile, the obfuscated code looks like hieroglyphics designed by an ancient programmer who hated their future self. It's not just unreadable—it's actively trying to cause psychic damage. The kind of code that makes your IDE contemplate a career change. Whoever wrote this didn't just obfuscate their code, they turned it into a cryptic summoning ritual that would make even the most hardened security expert weep into their mechanical keyboard. And yet, somewhere out there, a developer is proudly thinking "No one will ever reverse engineer THIS masterpiece!"

The serene family gazing at the future of C++ stands on a foundation built with the blood, sweat, and tears of developers maintaining ancient C++98 codebases. Nothing says "software engineering career" like spending your days fighting with 25-year-old pointer arithmetic and manual memory management while dreaming of smart pointers and auto type deduction. Those legacy maintainers are literally drowning in a sea of undefined behavior while management cheerfully talks about "eventual migration plans." The contrast is brutal - modern C++ developers get to enjoy lambda functions and move semantics while the legacy warriors are still debugging segfaults from the Clinton administration.

Ah, the classic reinvention of the wheel syndrome. You spend weeks crafting your "revolutionary" tool, only to discover that not only does a solution already exist, but it's actually better than yours. And of course, your manager witnesses your moment of enlightenment. Nothing quite says "efficient use of company resources" like building something that already exists. Your commit history will remember this moment fondly.