Just Hard Reset It

Content BACK VOCALIST Gets a fraction of frontman's paycheck Can't take a break during work hours Drinks to forget old memories from work Has to work in synch with frontman Noone will probably notice your mistake BACKENDER Gets roughly the same pay as frontender Seems like he's always on a break drinking coffee Drinks with sysadmin to aquaire old memories from work Can work both synchronous and asynchronous 500 INTERNAL SERVER ERROR

THE AUDACITY of JavaScript to just sit there with that stupid smiley face while your code burns to the ground! 🔥 Normal programming languages have the DECENCY to point out your mistakes. They're like "Hey dummy, you forgot a semicolon on line 42" or "Your variable doesn't exist, you absolute walnut." But JavaScript? That sadistic little monster just SMILES while you're on your knees BEGGING for a hint. It's like asking your therapist a direct question and they respond with "Hmm, what do YOU think?" I'M PAYING YOU TO TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG, JAVASCRIPT!

Content robin dreamsofsloth the first thing our new hire did was fix a bug that's been bugging him forever as a user prior to joining. he then breathed a sigh of relief and submitted his two weeks' notice. wtf??

HONEY! The bank just emailed! My literal NOTHING is on its way! 🎉 Can't wait to open that empty package of pure void and stare into the existential abyss of my bank account! They even let me track my non-existent card! How thoughtful! It's like Christmas morning except Santa brought me a beautiful gift-wrapped box of ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Programmers everywhere feeling that special joy when their null references escape into the real world. Bank developers probably sitting there like "Did we just ship... nothing? Eh, ship it anyway!"

Content Jay Phelps jayphelps Manager: I want our web app to feel more like a native app You: window.onerror window.close; 6:29 AM Oct 12, 2019 Twitter Web App

The C++ Olympic gold medalist celebrates victory in the first 5 panels, only to get absolutely destroyed by Rust in the final frame. Classic story of our industry - spend decades mastering pointer arithmetic and manual memory management, then some new language comes along with a borrow checker and suddenly you're obsolete. C++17 promised better memory safety features, but let's be honest - it's like putting a band-aid on a chainsaw wound. Meanwhile Rust sits on the podium smugly preventing segfaults at compile time while every other garbage-collected language watches from second place. Ten years of debugging dangling pointers and suddenly I'm supposed to learn ownership semantics? Fine, I'll update my resume.