I'm Helping (While You Do All The Work)

Content not a real user 1 IDGAF about your pronouns, I just want to know if you use "" or "we" when documenting a bug that you caused. 10:46 AM Mar 30, 2021 Twitter Web Client

That rare, godlike feeling when your multi-function monstrosity compiles without a single error on the first try. Suddenly you're not just a developer—you're practically royalty in the kingdom of code. The compiler bows to your superior syntax. Runtime errors? Those are for peasants. For approximately 3.7 seconds, before you realize your logic is completely broken, you sit on your throne feeling like the supreme overlord of programming. Bow before me, mortals, for I am the Chosen One who doesn't need Stack Overflow today!

Content Things I have learnt from this subreddit as a non programmer - Users just do things that they are not supposed to do and It looks like they are purposely trying to break the code. - Legacy code is written and understood only by gods and they only way to convert it into modern code is to fucking write the thing from scratch. - Jobs require ungodly amount of experience. They want a full stack developer EVERY FUCKING TIME. - Senior devs have given up on life and they just do just enough to get their salaries. They work on production just for the thriller. - There is a communication gap between the client and the programmer just because of the fucking management. - You should never work on the main branch and push things to production but its the norm. - Debugging is staring at the code until it works again. - Programmers just copy and paste code. The only real programmers to ever exist are Terry Davis and some random people who maintain libraries that are responsible for doing math on every computer on the planet. - There is just some mystery code in every codebase that appears to do nothing but when removed sets everything in flames. It is usually commented "Don't touch". - If you ask anything on StackOverflow, Its a stupid question. - Sales teams tell the client that the devs can make everything happen even if its computationally impossible. - Its better to take 5 hours solving bugs rather than spend 5 minutes reading the documentation. Programmers don't have lives anyways. - If you are seeking to learn programming learn JavaScript. The next step is to find a new career

HONEY, GRAB THE CHECKBOOK! This absolute MONSTER of a legacy code generator is being sold to us by a man in a suit! *dramatically faints* The car salesman is literally SLAPPING THE ROOF and promising us 50+ lines of legacy code PER SECOND! Do you know what that means?! That's approximately 4.3 MILLION lines of technical debt PER DAY! The maintenance nightmare of my DREAMS! 💸💸💸 And look at those logos - it's a blockchain-ethereum-something developer tool that will absolutely ruin our codebase faster than you can say "we should refactor this someday." SOLD!

The evolution of developers has taken a tragic turn! Back in the glory days, programmers were depicted as muscular chads who wrote code without AI assistance or Stack Overflow, built entire games in Assembly language (absolute madlads), crafted mission-critical code for Moon landings, and fixed memory leaks by manually tweaking pointers. Fast forward to today, and we've devolved into bizarre creatures who can't center a div without Googling it for the 500th time, beg ChatGPT to fix basic syntax errors, get trapped in Vim like it's some kind of developer prison (":q! anyone?"), and somehow manage to create three new bugs while fixing just one. The brutal reality check hits hard. We went from programming gods to dependency-addicted gremlins who can't function without our precious tools. Progress?

Writing unit tests is basically creating a controlled fantasy world where your code magically works. You craft these perfect little scenarios with mock objects and ideal inputs, then proudly declare "See? No bugs here!" Meanwhile, your actual code is in production setting everything on fire. It's like congratulating yourself for winning an argument against an imaginary opponent that you specifically designed to lose.