I Was There When It Was Written

The grumpy face never changes, just the multitasking skills. Before kids: "This code is garbage!" After kids: "This code is garbage AND I haven't slept in 3 days!" The true parallel processing isn't in your fancy algorithms—it's coding with one hand while holding a baby with the other. Somehow both scenarios involve cleaning up messes and debugging mysterious errors that make no logical sense. The only difference? One of them eventually grows up and stops crying. The code never does.

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute NIGHTMARE of fixing bugs! You start with 99 problems—I mean bugs—and think you're being all heroic by squashing one. Then BOOM! 💥 The universe punishes your audacity by spawning 19 MORE bugs from the corpse of the one you just killed! It's like a horror movie where the monster multiplies every time you stab it! This is why developers drink coffee by the gallon and question their life choices at 2 PM on a Tuesday. Bug fixing isn't a job—it's an eternal curse where the more you fix, the deeper you sink into debugging purgatory!

The eternal dilemma: two big red buttons. One promises a peaceful weekend. The other guarantees chaos by deploying to production on Friday. The sweating developer knows there's only one choice management will accept, and it's not the one that lets them sleep at night. Nothing says "I hate myself" quite like pushing code right before clocking out for two days.

The holy war of brace styles rages on, but this code takes it to a whole new level of depravity. While the tweet generously says "Use whatever brace style you prefer," it then showcases code with braces scattered like confetti after a New Year's party. Those closing triple braces at the end? Pure nightmare fuel. It's like watching someone build a house where some doors open inward, some outward, and others just lead to brick walls. The inconsistent indentation is the cherry on top of this crime against humanity. This is why code reviews exist. And therapists.

Content After thousands of applications, I just accepted an offer from a McFAANG company! Shitpost Don't want to specify which one, but I'm super excited to finally be working at a top tier McFAANG company! I will be in a Forward Deployed Food Engineering Specialist role! Some of my job responsibilities include: Building ETL pipelines to extract frozen patties from the FREEZER database and transforming them into ready made burgers Deriving insights and analysis on client orders from the cash register Managing real-time NoSQL (No Salt Queue Layer) deployments for french fry processing Maintaining high-throughput IO operations at drive-through queuing interface while ensuring sub-60-second response times Implementing mission-critical data cleaning protocols using proprietary mop-based algorithms Debugging ice cream machines I'm extremely excited to receive a base TC of over 280k (per decade) for my first job out of college! If anyone wants some tips or tricks, feel free to ask

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