Have You Tried Turning It Off And On Again?

The greatest lie we tell ourselves during existential coding crises. That mythical moment when someone else's code—that incomprehensible mess of nested loops and questionable variable names—somehow works flawlessly on the first attempt. Meanwhile, your carefully crafted masterpiece crashes spectacularly after 17 refactors and a ritual sacrifice to the compiler gods. It's the programming equivalent of "I'm sure they'll text back" or "one more episode before bed." Pure self-delusion, but sometimes that's all that keeps us from hurling our laptops into the sun.

Content we find the bug now there are 2 bugs we fix the bug now there are 3 bugs

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute AUDACITY of corporate America! 😱 The senior dev abandons ship and what does management do? Promotes the junior who JUST figured out how to center a div—the most BASIC of CSS skills! It's like giving someone a Nobel Prize for learning to tie their shoelaces! The look of pure terror on junior dev's face says it all—he knows he's about to be thrown into the deep end of legacy code with nothing but a div-centering life jacket. Meanwhile, the boss is BEAMING with the confidence of someone who thinks HTML is a programming language. The entire codebase is about to become a dumpster fire of epic proportions!

You know that special feeling when your "Helpful Assistant" (read: AI code reviewer or overly enthusiastic senior dev) starts a code review with the energy of a disappointed parent? That opening line hits different: "Oh boy – looking at your code, there are so many problems left and right on so many levels." But here's the kicker – it's YOUR code. The same code you were just defending in Slack 30 seconds ago like it was your firstborn child. The same code you thought was pretty elegant when you hit that commit button. Now you're sitting there, gripping your desk, trying to remember that you're a professional while your inner monologue screams in existential horror. The "problems on so many levels" part is particularly brutal because it implies architectural sins, not just a missing semicolon. We're talking about nested if-statements 7 layers deep, functions that do 15 different things, and variable names like "data2_final_ACTUAL_v3". The kind of stuff that makes you question your entire career path.

Content Zoe Schiffer ZoeSchiffer NEW: Email from Elon to the engineering team: "Anyone who can actually write software, please report to the 10th floor at 2pm today. Before doing so, please email me a bullet point summary of what your code commits have achieved in the past 6 months" 1 10:26 pm 18 Nov 22 Twitter Web App I CAN WRITE SOFTWARE master.musktwitter.com ICAN WRITE SOFTWARE Dear Master Musk. Below is a Bullet Point Summary of what my code commits have achieved in the past 6 months Some Fixes . Some More Fixes More Fixes for past Fixes Fixes for pastleft out Fixes Few fixes for the future Fixes Fixes for the Fixes of Fixes And other very crucial, very important and highly optimized code refactor of critical modules here on Twitterfor.umm.. ..minor fixes. Wu. LoL I 5 d Sans Serif TT. B I U A Send

Content Microsoft says most company execs won't hire anyone without an Al aptitude, prompting "a 142x increase in Linkedin members adding Al skills like Copilot and ChatGPT to their profiles" Kevin Okemwa Wed, May 8, 2024 at 8:00 AM EDT 4 min read 6 - Microsoft Linked in S ChatGPT