Have You Ever Seen This?

The classic programmer journey from self-righteousness to self-sabotage in three easy steps: First, you write a verbose, descriptive function name that perfectly documents what it does. You feel virtuous. Clean code! Self-documenting! Then, you realize typing that monstrosity repeatedly is killing your productivity. So you create a wrapper function with a shorter name. Problem solved! Finally, you're faced with your creation in production code: if (cumming()) - and suddenly you remember why code reviews exist. Your future maintainers will either die laughing or hunt you down with pitchforks. And this, friends, is why naming things remains one of the two hardest problems in computer science.

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Finally, a 404 page that perfectly captures the spirit of corporate blame culture! Nothing says "healthy work environment" quite like turning a simple missing page into a public execution. The best part? Everyone's pointing at someone else in the classic developer circular firing squad. It's basically standup meetings in their final form. At least they offer the merciful option to spare the entire team. How generous! Because nothing fixes a broken URL like the power of forgiveness. Next feature request: a 500 error page where you get to choose which server to send to the recycling bin.

The corporate world's version of mutually assured destruction. While the programmer faces jail time for his digital revenge bomb, the possum's living his best life in pastry paradise. One destroyed a company's infrastructure, the other infiltrated a donut box—both chaotic neutral heroes in their own domains. The real crime here isn't the kill switch, it's that no one thought to implement proper access revocation protocols. Pro tip: before firing your only DevOps engineer, maybe check if they've left presents in your codebase first? That possum didn't even need to write a single line of code to achieve total victory.

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