C's Sadness

Content Jeroen Friters JeroenFriters 1d The Dutch government was forced to release the source code of their DigiD digital authentication iOS app. It is written in C. github.comMinBZKwoo-bes... private static string GetPercentageRounds (double percentage) if (percentage 0) return "0000000000"; if (percentage 0.0 percentage 0.1) "0000000000"; if (percentage 0.1 percentage 0.2) return 100000000"; iF percentage 0.2 8 percentage 0.3) hOrunn 00000000"; if (percentage 0.3 percentage 0.4) norunr 0000000"; if (percentage 0.4 percentage 0.5) 00000": if (percentage 0.5 8 percentage 0.6) returr 00000000"; if (percentage 0.6 percentage 0.7) returr if (percentage 97 percentage 0.8) if (percentage 0.8 8 percentage 0.9) noturn "I return "0000000000"; da 1.3M O308 171,196 9 6,678 tyrannoSaurav TyrannoSaurav Replying to JeroenFriters Ahh I see the problem is that there are too many if statements. Here's a solution implementing binary search in O(log n) private static string GetPercentageRounds (double percentage) if (percentage 0 6 percentage 0.5) if (percentage 0.2) if (percentage 0.1) S if (percentage 0) return "0000000000"; return "0000000000"; return 000000000"; if (percentage 0.41 if (percentage 0.3) return 00000000"; return 00000000"; return "0000000000": if (percentage 0.5 66 percentage 0.9) if (percentage 0.7) if (percentage 0.6 return return 000": 300". if (percentage 0.8) return return return

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute HORROR of receiving this text message! 😱 It's like the entire programming apocalypse packed into a single notification! When your ride-sharing app has a complete meltdown and starts spewing raw code errors instead of actual information. "NaN minutes" because time is now just a meaningless concept, "[object Object]" because who needs actual driver information anyway, and "license plate undefined" because identifying vehicles is SO last century. This is what happens when the developer tests NOTHING and ships everything. Somewhere, a backend engineer is having heart palpitations while frantically scrolling through Stack Overflow.

The ergonomics experts can shove their fancy diagrams where the sun doesn't shine. After 15 years of hunching over code, I've evolved to my final form: laptop on chest, controller in hand, neck at an impossible angle that would make a chiropractor cry. Sure, my spine resembles a question mark now, but at least I can debug that production issue while horizontal. The real senior developer posture isn't standing desks—it's whatever position lets you code without getting out of bed. Work-life balance achieved.

The eternal struggle of every developer who knows better but chooses chaos anyway. Sure, debuggers exist with their fancy breakpoints and variable inspection, but there's something primitively satisfying about littering your code with print("HERE") , print("WHY GOD WHY") , and the classic print("AAAAAAAAAAA") . It's like using a stone axe when you have a chainsaw in your garage. We all know we should use proper debugging tools, but smashing that red button and turning our console into a Jackson Pollock painting of random values just hits different. Proper debugging techniques? In this economy?

The rubber duck is BEGGING you not to commit... your code without talking to it first! Because apparently, your debug duck has developed separation anxiety and emotional dependency issues from all those late-night debugging sessions where you explained your broken code line by line until the solution magically appeared. That little yellow therapist has been there through your worst spaghetti code disasters, listened to you ramble about why your loop runs infinite times, and watched you discover that typo on line 47 that's been haunting you for three hours. Now it's sitting there with its adorable little face basically saying "don't you DARE push that commit without rubber duck debugging with me first, I NEED TO FEEL USEFUL." The wholesome twist on suicide prevention day is *chef's kiss* – protecting developers from committing catastrophic bugs to production, one quack at a time. 🦆

The AUDACITY of these IDEs! You create a variable with your own two hands, your fingers still warm from typing it, and this silicon-based TRAITOR has the nerve to throw a warning that you're not using it? EXCUSE ME?! I literally just birthed this variable into existence 0.03 seconds ago! What do you want from me?! A formal introduction? A five-year plan for its usage? Should I write it a college recommendation letter too?! I'm coding at the speed of thought here—my brain is already seven functions ahead while this digital backseat driver is questioning my life choices. The compiler and I are basically in a toxic relationship at this point.