Can You Also Please Resolve Them

Content The Proud Parent The Linker REPENT TOMER - Half your manager, half your senior - Designed the codebase - Will always answer your question, but only after a 5 minute on the motivations of a now rebuilt module from years ago - "I remember when we had to do that process in the AWS console with just a trackpad, uphill both ways" - Tough during code review, but genuinely happy to see you ship new features to the system The Job Security Maximizer - Always sends you a link when you ask a question, sometimes without any other words - "Look at this" - Thinks you don't know standard documentation exists - Posts medium articles in the main channel, doesn't read them - Never reviews code - First stack overflow result The Big Chiller - "Ohh, that? Sorry I totally forgot all - Been around for years, knows the entire about the code I wrote a month ago" codebase - Tells you to ask someone else for the - Friends with the CTO simplest question - Shows you the exact line of code that - Has dozens of pages of private notes, causes your bug within 5 minutes READMEs all read "initial commit" - They last shipped a commit a couple - "Have you thought about adding an months ago, you think abstracter to this abstraction? With that - Always approves your PRs we can decouple the coupler from the universe" 10 i0

Content I JUST WROTE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CODE. OF MY LIFE. THEY CASUALLY HANDED ME AN IMPOSSIBLE PROBLEM. IN 48 HOURS AND 200 LINES, I SOLVED IT. ACADEMIA: MY GOD ... THIS WILL MEAN A HALF-DOZEN PAPERS, A THESIS OR TWO, AND A PARAGRAPH IN EVERY TEXTBOOK ON QUEUING THEORY! BUSINESS:- YOU GOT THE PROGRAM TO STOP JAMMING UP? GREAT. WHILE YOURE FIXING STUFF CAN YOU GET OUTLOOK TO SYNC WITH OUR NEW PHONES?

The existential dread of leaving your IDE unattended for 5 minutes only to return and find your machine compiling Skynet. That moment when npm install decides to rebuild the entire dependency tree because you accidentally typed "y" while half asleep. Your computer's gone from "Hello World" to "Hello New World Order" real quick. The scariest part? You don't even have admin privileges in this new relationship.

Content When you fix the bug and the imposter syndrome goes away

Content rAskReddit uBulletclubrenzo 10h NSFW 3 511 What if you found the Death Note? 4 15.3k 0 7.4k Share Award O BEST COMMENTS Sancakes 7h Does the death note accept ifandor statements? Could write some nice code to sort a lot of things out. 5 Reply 4 2.4k J dilwins21 5h 1 Award Please no. I know how many attempts it takes for some of your code to work correctly. 687 mista-sparkle 3h If you test your Death Note code out on people that annoy you, it's debugging in a new sense. 4 286

The Church of Open Source has quite the congregation. The prophet? Richard Stallman, with his flowing locks and GNU gospel. The Bible? The legendary K&R C Programming book that's baptized generations of developers. The altar? That standing desk where we've all sacrificed countless hours debugging. And the God? Tux the Linux penguin, obviously—the deity who never crashes (just occasionally requires a sacrifice of obscure terminal commands). I've been worshipping at this church for 20 years, and let me tell you, the prayers sound suspiciously like Stack Overflow questions. "Dear Tux, why the hell is my pointer arithmetic causing segfaults? I swear I'll never use global variables again if you just fix this build."