Wrong Database, Right Disaster

Content HI, THIS 15 YOUR SON'S SCHOOL. WERE HAVING SOME COMPUTER TROUBLE. DID YOU REALLY NAME YOUR SON Robert'); DROP TABLE Students;-? OH. YES. LITTLE BOBBY TABLES, WE CALL HIM. OH, DEAR - DID HE BREAK SOMETHING? IN A WAY- WELL, WEVE LOST THIS YEAR'S STUDENT RECORDS. I HOPE YOURE HAPPY. AND I HOPE YOU'VE LEARNED TO SANITIZE YOUR DATABASE INPUTS.

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Content HI, THIS 15 YOUR SON'S SCHOOL. WERE HAVING SOME COMPUTER TROUBLE. DID YOU REALLY NAME YOUR SON Robert'); DROP TABLE Students;-? OH. YES. LITTLE BOBBY TABLES, WE CALL HIM. OH, DEAR - DID HE BREAK SOMETHING? IN A WAY- WELL, WEVE LOST THIS YEAR'S STUDENT RECORDS. I HOPE YOURE HAPPY. AND I HOPE YOU'VE LEARNED TO SANITIZE YOUR DATABASE INPUTS.

Nothing says "responsible parenting" quite like abandoning your child with a mainframe computer from the 1970s and a COBOL manual! This is basically the programming equivalent of leaving your kid with dinosaurs as babysitters. That poor child is about to learn that semicolons aren't just for English class and that punch cards were the original "swipe right." The ultimate character-building exercise: debug COBOL or no dinner tonight! Honestly, this might explain why so many banking systems still run on ancient code - those traumatized children grew up and refused to ever touch the code again.

Content Looking to hire a Jr Data Scientist: - 15 years Python - 30 years SQL - 20 vears AWS -15 years Spark -15 years Terraform - Core contributor to assembly code base - Team plaver - Should have some sort of martial arts experience, whether Ninja, Jujitsu, or Karate. All 3 is preferred. - Knows SQL, NoSQL, NewSQL and all future flavors of SOL - Proiect Management experience - Strong experience with Keras, TensorFlow, Sklearn, XGBoost and preferably has written their own ML library from scratch. - Should have published at least 2 top level academic papers preferably focused around a Convolutional Recurrent Back-propagating Neural Network - Open source contributor at least 5 projects. - Experience leading teams of 10,000 people or more - Managed CICD pipeline for an application with at least 2 billion daily users -Should have at least 1 PhD, 5 is preferred. Yes, we have ping pong tables and an open floor plan and lots of salty snacks in the breakroom. Organic Kombucha on tap. The interviews will consist of a 5 day process of whiteboarding algorithms from scratch followed by writing your own compiler and a coding exam will be taken at random from the 20 most popular programming languages.

Content FuckltJS Javascript Error Steamroller FuckitJS uses state-of-the-art technology to make sure your javascript code runs whether your compiler likes it or not. Technology Through a process known as Eval-Rinse-Reload-And-Repeat, FuckltJS repeatedly compiles your code, detecting errors and slicing those lines out of the script. To survive such a violent process, FuckltJS reloads itself after each iteration, allowing the onerror handler to catch every single error in your terribly written code. Installation 1. Include Query, because everything requires Query 2. Include "fuckit.is" 3. The End