Wrong Database, Right Disaster

THE AUDACITY of people pronouncing SQL as "sequel" is the hill I will DIE ON! 💀 It's S-Q-L, you monsters! The full name is "Structured Query Language" - where exactly is this mythical "E" hiding?! Database developers across the universe are LITERALLY SPLITTING INTO WARRING FACTIONS over this pronunciation catastrophe. One side smugly spelling it out letter by letter while the "sequel" crowd struts around like they've invented a better sorting algorithm. The database wars aren't about Oracle vs. MySQL - they're about who's going to snap first in the next meeting when someone says "sequel server" instead of "S-Q-L server"!

That moment of pure existential dread when freedom was within reach, but Dave from QA just had to bring up "one quick thing" about the database schema. Now you're trapped for another 45 minutes while everyone rehashes the entire sprint planning meeting you already had on Tuesday. Your weekend plans slowly dissolving before your eyes as someone unmutes just to say "sorry, I was on mute."

Content Michael Brown (sup... . Jan 11, 2020 as the Unix admin at a previous job, I liked to hand out passwords with an ESC in them to the Windows admins :D 9 1 17 1 10 8 Fake "Unicod... Fa... - Jan 11, 2020 ALFAT CAN MEN DO AGAINST SUCH RECKLESS HATE? 17 ( 7

The value of backups follows the classic IT tragedy in three acts: Act I: "What's a backup worth?" you ask, staring at your perfectly functional system. Act II: "Nothing," you decide, because everything's working fine and storage costs money. Act III: After your production database spontaneously combusts at 4:30pm on a Friday before a holiday weekend, suddenly that backup is worth your entire career, marriage, and will to live. Funny how perspective changes when you're staring at the digital equivalent of a burning city.

Content my LiTTLE RESUME JOSEPH REDMON University of Washington - CSE Box 352350 Seattle WA 98195-2350 pireddieuw.edu This little pony went to Middlebury College, in Middlebury Vermont. He graduated with highest honors and even received a departmental award for academic excellence! While at Middlebury he cultivated an ongoing love for... COMPUTER SCiENCE MATHEMAICS! For two years he worked as a tutor for the Computer Science department. He loves passing on his knowlede and getting everypony excited about computer science! One summer he worked for the National Institute of Standards and Technology. He developed an online tool for analyzing thermal neutron triple-axis spectrometry data. He even had his very own nuclear reactor to play with! The next year he had an Extreme Blue internship with IBM. He worked with a team of interns at the Almaden Research Center to develop technology related to online shopping. But he's not allowed to talk about it too much! (He signed a non-disclosure) After graduation he galloped off to Unalaska, Alaska to work as a radio DJ, and freelance web developer. He produces stunning, high quality websites for all the nice ponies hanging out in the Alaskan Bush. PoNY STaTS Education School: Middlebury College '12 4, Major: Computer Science 4 Minor: Mathematics L, GPA: 3.74 Major GPA: 3.98 Favorites Languages: C. Python Editor: Vim Subjects: Machine Learning, Computer Vision, Compilers Awards Achievements Timothy T. Huang Award for Academic Achievement 3rd Place at ACM-ICPC BOSPRE 2 years in a row, 5th at NE North American Regionals in 2010 For a few months he dabbled in domestication, working for a startup in San Francisco called ZeroCater. He spearheaded major projects, infrastructure upgrades and code cleaning frenzies while ensuring that thousands of hardworking ponies got Top 10 in 4 separate Kaggle competitions, top 3 of active users quality, catered lunches of grains, oats, and grasses every day! The daily plough just wasn't for him though, so he threw off the bit and bridle and galloped back to Alaska. He still does contract work for ZeroCater on other companies on occasion, and in the fall he'll be heading off to a computer science Ph.D. program at the University of Washington! The adventure is far from over.. What will this little pony do next, who knows?? ProdrammerHumor.io

The three-headed dragon meme takes on database humor with a linguistic twist. The fierce left head represents SQL (Structured Query Language), the menacing middle head is SEQUEL (SQL's original name at IBM), while the derpy right head is just... SQUIRREL, complete with tongue sticking out. It's basically how your brain processes technical acronyms after staring at database errors for 12 straight hours. The progression from professional database terminology to random woodland creature is the mental breakdown we never knew we needed.