Aggressively Wrong

Someone really looked at SQL injection vulnerabilities and thought "you know what this needs? More aesthetic." TailwindSQL is the cursed lovechild of utility-first CSS and database queries that absolutely nobody asked for but everyone secretly deserves. Imagine writing className="db-users-name-where-id-1" in your React Server Components and having it ACTUALLY QUERY YOUR DATABASE. It's like someone took the concept of separation of concerns, threw it in a blender, added some Tailwind magic, and created the most beautifully dangerous footgun in web development history. The security team is having an aneurysm, the frontend devs are cackling maniacally, and somewhere a database administrator just felt a disturbance in the force. At least when your app gets hacked, your SQL injections will be perfectly styled with consistent spacing and responsive breakpoints!

Content Anonymous 050122(Sun)04:09:27 No.68444767 be me go to coffee shop order a hot chocolate with marshmellows overhear two women are talking at the other table pick up programming words like "while 64 KB JPG loop" and "cu" like programming stuff approach their table confidently "Hey guys, are you talking about programming?" they look at me I repeat myself they kinda just nod, they don't continue whatever they were talking about, guess they don't think I will understand I tell them I'm a programmer (gestured at myself with my hands for emphasis) one of them is like "sorry, we're talking about work" (paraphrasing) they seem to be trying to get rid of me I insist and ask her what their conversation was about it takes a while but the other one is like "we were discussing blah blah something about optimization" I have no idea what the fuck she just said, it didn't make any sense to me at all change the topic quickly and ask what programming language she uses she says it's C I say "C is an old language, you should use something cooler like javascript" (that's what I'm learning) they talk to each other quietly (I can't hear what they are saying) one of them asks "anon, where do you work?" I tell them I don't have job, I do programming as a hobby the conversation doesn't continue they leave a few minutes later Where did I do wrong?

Content programmer.hub3 THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW AS A PROGRAMMER Source Control Text Editor's IDE's X SQL Database and SQL Networking Basics Excel . Scripting and Programming Language Data Structures Algorithm Unix or Linux g a y 106 likes programmer.hub3 Save This Post For Future used and Tag or Share It To Your Programmer Buddy So... more

Content IF THE WORLD WAS CREATED BY A PROGRAMMER in THe BEGINNiNg, THERE WAS THE HEAVEN AND THE EarTH BUT THE EARTH WAS FORMLESS AND BUGGY, WITHOUT DOCUMENTATION BY toggl AND THE PROGRAMMER SAW THAT IT WAS NoT GOOD. THEN YOU SAID "LET TherE BE LIGHT! BUT THE LIGHT Did NOT COMPILE. On THE SECOND DAY, YOU MERGE WATER YOU CREATE A HACK SO THAT LIGHT IS PART THE LANC TO CREATE DARKNESS, YoU NEED TO HIDE THE LAND, BUT THAT'S OK CAUSE CREATURES WONT BE ADDED UNTIL LATER. AND STACKOVERFLOW SAID IT'S FINE MINED BUT BECAUSE OF THE DEPENDENCY, LIGHT BREAKS AS IS ACCIDENTALL' LAND FLOODED YOU CHECK STACKOVERFLOW (IN THE DARKNESS) IT's thE thirD DaY. YOU TRY TO ADD CREATURES YOU ADD THEM IN THE TURNS OUT THE CREATURES IN THE DARKNESS, BUT BROWSER USING COOKIES, THERE'S NO LAND WITHOUT WHICH UNFORTUNATELY NEEDED TO BE ADDED SOONER MAKES THEM MORTAL BUT THE CLIENT FORGOT TO LIGHT, AND YOU CAN'T HAVE LIGHT BECAUSE OF THE MENTION THAT WATER. IT'S THE FOURTH DAY. YOU DECIDE TO USE C YOU ALSO USE STL TO CREATE A BALLOON TURNS OUT THE ISSUES FOR ABSTRACTIONS AND THAT INFLATES THE EARTH IT WORKS OUT GREAT WERE CAUSED BY THE WITH COMPLICATIONS FLAT EARTH DESIGN WHATSOEVER! DANGLING POINTE IT'S ThE FIFTH daY YOU START ADDING PEOPLE TO HELP You. YOU DECIDE TO CREATE THEM IN YOUR LIKENESS, WHICH IS A MISTAKE LEFT -PAD. REACT REACT THEY IMMEDIATELY POPULATE THE EARTH WITH HACKS, FADS AND UNNECESSARY JAVASCRIPT LIBRARIES (FUCKIT.JS' ON The SIXTH DAY YOU LOOk AT THE CHAOS YOU CREATED YOU ATTEMPT TO LEAD PEOPLE BACK TO SENSIBLE PROGRAMMING, BUT IT IS TOO LATE - EVERYTHING RUNS ON DEPENDENCIES HORIZON DAYTIMEAIR.JS SEA.JS REALISTIC WAVES.JS BETTERBANKS.JS BASE.JS ON THE SEVENTH DAY YOU REALLY WANT TO REST, BUT YOU NEED To ORGANISE ALL You've CREATE GO TOGGL. COM

OH MY GOD, the absolute HORROR of explaining your coding job to grandma only for her to send you a "Happy Data Leak Day!" card with ROSES the next day! 💀 Nothing says "I completely misunderstood what you do" like celebrating the ONE THING that keeps security engineers awake at night! Grandma somehow transformed "I work with databases" into "I deliberately expose sensitive information for funsies" and now she's CONGRATULATING you on it with a business cat and confetti! The professional NIGHTMARE is complete! Your entire career reduced to "that thing where you spill information everywhere" - thanks Nana! 🙃

The ultimate dad joke meets developer obsession! Imagine being so devoted to JavaScript Object Notation that you literally name your flesh and blood after it. The kid's college application is probably going to be perfectly structured with nested properties and no trailing commas. His first words weren't "mama" or "dada" but "{" and "}". The real question is whether his middle name is "Parse" so when he gets in trouble they can yell "JSON.Parse Error!" Siblings XML and YAML are definitely feeling jealous right now.