Worlds Best Programmer Strikes Again

Content SELECT FROM Select From select from SeLEct fROM

Content Look, if you had - one shot. One epic SQL query - to select everything you ever wanted - in one statement. Would you execute it or just let it slip? SELECT palms AS sweaty, knees AS weak, arms AS heavy, MAX(vomit) OVER (PARTITION BY sweater, already, momsspaghetti) AS nervous, CASE WHEN onthesurface THEN 'looks calm and ready' ELSE 'drop bombs' END AS keepsonforgetting, whathewrotedown, crowd AS loud, CASE WHEN mouth 'open' AND words IS NULL THEN 'choking' WHEN everyone 'joking' AND clock 'run out' AND time 'Up' THEN 'over' ELSE bloah END, snap, back FROM reality;

OH MY GOD, THE ABSOLUTE HORROR! 😱 That gut-wrenching moment when your subconscious BETRAYS you at 3 AM and reminds you that your database is probably in shambles because you forgot to commit that transaction! Sweet dreams? CANCELLED! Now you're frantically coding in bed while your body is still half-asleep because those uncommitted changes are just SITTING THERE, ready to vanish into the void! The database gods are laughing at your pathetic mortal memory right now. Your coworkers will find nothing but chaos tomorrow morning, all because you couldn't type five simple characters before leaving work. C-O-M-M-I-T. Was that so hard?!

The corporate world's dirty little secret: why learn fancy languages when Excel macros will make you the office wizard? Non-IT folks don't care about your elegant Python algorithms—they just want their spreadsheets to stop crashing. VBA might be the programming equivalent of using a hammer to screw in a nail, but damn if it doesn't get you immediate results while the "real programmers" are still setting up their development environments. SQL queries in Access might make database engineers cry, but nothing says job security like being the only person who can make the ancient accounting system spit out quarterly reports.

The eternal battle between security experts and literally everyone else. Security guy is all "your password needs 20 characters, uppercase, lowercase, numbers, special characters, and the blood of your firstborn" while the user's just sitting there like "why? 'admin' is fine." The look of pure horror on his face in that last panel is every IT professional who's discovered their company's production database password is "password123" and suddenly understood why they've been getting hacked every other Tuesday.

Content STOP DOINGTIMEZONES time was not supposed to be different for everyone YEARS OF time massed yet NO REAL-WORLD USE FOUND for GMI, EAT, GET, WAT, CAT, EET, SAST Wanted to counttime ? We had a tool for that: It was called time millis 1 "Yes please give m93:00.Mt of something. Please give me OST of it" - Statements dreamed up by evil wizards LOOK at what ISO have been demanding your Respect for all this time, with all the clocks timers we built for them (This is REAL done by REAL IANA authorities ) ??????? "Hell rwould a 420049 as please" inglip.com They have played us for absolute fools