Worlds Best Programmer Strikes Again

Content Catalin Cimpanu campuscodi Conversation between two users in a 15-year-old MySQL bug entry (still not fixed) bugs.mysql.combug.php?id114.. 21 Jun 2019 14:56 Henry Ayala Soon this bug is going to be old enough to take driving lessons. 9 Nov 2019 7:17 Owen Gallagher 7553 000 3 2000 00000 re arcer over veara 11 Nov 2019 9:12 Fabio Napodano would be nice to know how 1s life of the bug report opener. is he still alive? Is he actually still using MySQL? 12 Nov 2019 14:291 Omer Barnir Thanka for asking. I'm alive and well, and waing MySQL. 9:21 AM Jun 11, 2020 Twitter Web App 121 Retweets 318 Likes

Content Based on a true story: xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xxx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy" xxx: You're gonna love this xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login. xxx: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help" "trouble" "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time". xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling wellgonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am. xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew . Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half- caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xxx: holy sht l'm keeping those

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Content y-cruncher - A Multi-Threaded Pi-Program From a high-school project that went a little too far... By Alexander J. Yee (Last updated: January 29, 2017) The first scalable multi-threaded Pi-benchmark for multi-core systems... How fast can your computer compute Pi? -cruncher is a program that can compute Pi and other constants to trillions of digits. It is the first of its kind that is multi-threaded and scalable to multi-core systems. Ever since its launch in 2009, it has become a common benchmarking and stress-testing application for overclockers and hardware enthusiasts. -cruncher has been used to set several world records for the most digits of Pi ever computed. 22.4 trillion digits - November 2016 (Peter Trueb) 13.3 trillion digits - October 2014 ("houkouonchi") 12.1 trillion digits - December 2013 (Shigeru Kondo) 10 trillion digits - October 2011 (Shigeru Kondo) 5 trillion digits - August 2010 (Shigeru Kondo) ProgrammerHumor.i Shortcuts: Numberworld Home Records Set by y-cruncher Download y-cruncher redires Known Issues Benchmarks Fastest Times Algorithms FAQ Links Contact Me

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