Social security Memes

Posts tagged with Social security

I Did An Oopsie

I Did An Oopsie
When the news headline meets your actual code... Whoops! This brilliantly pairs a serious news article about SSN theft with what appears to be the culprit's actual implementation. That innocent little loop from 1 to 999999999 is just casually generating and emailing every possible Social Security number to "[email protected]." Nothing suspicious here, folks! Just your average day of accidentally committing federal crimes while trying to pad your GitHub contributions. The perfect balance of "I should probably delete my browser history" and "wait, did I push this to production?"

When Epoch Time Meets Political Commentary

When Epoch Time Meets Political Commentary
This is a masterclass in legacy systems biting back! The tweet explains how Social Security runs on COBOL (a programming language from the 1950s) where dates are stored using the ISO 8601 standard with an epoch starting 150 years ago (1875). So when a date is unknown, it defaults to zero, which COBOL interprets as 1875. The humor comes from Donald Trump Jr. misinterpreting Elon Musk's comment about this technical quirk as evidence of "150-year-old people collecting Social Security" โ€“ when it's actually just a database returning default epoch values! It's the perfect intersection of ancient programming languages, government systems that never get updated, and non-technical people drawing wild conclusions. Mainframe programmers are cackling while pouring another cup of coffee right now.

Primary Key? Never Heard Of Her

Primary Key? Never Heard Of Her
Billionaire discovers basic database concepts, immediately becomes expert. Classic tech CEO move! Someone should tell him government systems are probably running on COBOL from the 70s with punch cards as backup. The irony of a rocket scientist who doesn't grasp primary keys is just *chef's kiss*. Next week: Elon discovers that computers use electricity and declares it a conspiracy.

Select Count Star From Social Security Recipients

Select Count Star From Social Security Recipients
When SQL queries meet political hot takes, disaster ensues! The meme perfectly captures what happens when someone confuses database records with actual people - suddenly we have more Social Security recipients than citizens! It's like running SELECT COUNT(*) on your production database without understanding what you're counting. The classic "I know just enough SQL to be dangerous" scenario that makes database administrators wake up in cold sweats. Thank goodness for those "readers adding context" - the unsung heroes saving us from both bad queries AND misinformation in one fell swoop!

Worlds Best Programmer Strikes Again

Worlds Best Programmer Strikes Again
Ah yes, the classic "I just discovered databases 101 and now I'm a cybersecurity expert" moment. Nothing says "world's best programmer" like not understanding that primary keys exist. Next up: shocking revelation that arrays start at 0, not 1! The real fraud here is claiming to understand database architecture after what was clearly a five-minute Google search. If only Stack Overflow had a "close as billionaire misconception" option.

The Government Doesn't Use SQL

The Government Doesn't Use SQL
OH MY GOD! Billionaire discovers basic database constraints and has a complete meltdown! ๐Ÿ’€ The absolute DRAMA of someone who can launch rockets into space but apparently thinks the U.S. government is running their trillion-dollar operations on some janky SQL database without primary keys! Like, sweetie, I hate to break it to you, but the Social Security Administration isn't using phpMyAdmin they downloaded from SourceForge in 2003! It's giving "I just discovered databases exist and now I'm an expert" energy. Next revelation: the Pentagon doesn't store nuclear launch codes in an Excel spreadsheet! SHOCKING!

Slpt: Steal From Your Newborn So They Become Rich

Slpt: Steal From Your Newborn So They Become Rich
Ah, the classic integer overflow exploit, but for babies! This programmer parent found the ultimate life hack - exploiting the Social Security system like it's a poorly coded video game from the 90s. Give your newborn a dollar, wait for their SS number, then take it back to create a negative balance that wraps around to the maximum 32-bit integer value ($2,147,483,647). It's basically SQL injection but for parenting. This is what happens when developers become parents - they immediately start looking for edge cases in government systems. Forget college funds, just find buffer overflows!