When CRUD Spells Your Downfall

Content Kyle Hill 2 days ago Subscribe Engineers "I made this highly precise and comprehensive technical blueprint so you know exactly how this works" Physicists 11 "It doesn't actually look like this, we're just simplifying the mathematical structure to make it easier for you to understand" Mathematicians This is a subset. I drew it like this so you wouldn't get any information from it. I've got no idea what's inside it - functions, words, bugs. Please stop asking it really doesn't matter. the red arrow represents a morphism ProarammerHumor.io

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute AUDACITY of comparing accountants to data scientists! 💅 Just because someone can stare at spreadsheets until their eyeballs bleed doesn't make them a data scientist! The accountant in this image is LITERALLY drowning in columns of dollar amounts while Excel has become their prison and spreadsheets their wallpaper. Meanwhile, actual data scientists are out there building neural networks and pretending they understand what their algorithms are doing! The identity crisis is REAL, people! Next thing you know, my mom who makes pivot tables in Excel will start calling herself a "machine learning engineer." THE HORROR!

Content You shouldn't use client javascript to access databases for several reasons (bad practice, security issues, etc) but if you really want to do this, here is an example: 748 var connection new Activexobject ("ADODB .Connection") ; var connectionstring "Data Source server; Initial Catalogcatalog ;User IDuser; Password connection. Open (connectionstring); new ActiveXObject ("ADODB. Recordset"); rs. Open ("SELECT FROM table", connection); rs.MoveFirst while(!rs.eof) document.writers.fields (1)); rs.movenext; rs. close; connection. close; A better way to connect to a sql server would be to use some server side language like PHP, Java, NET, among others. Client javascript should be used only for the interfaces. And there are rumors of an ancient legend about the existence of server javascript, but this is another story. ;) Share Edit Follow Flag edited Jun 24 '09 at 13:27 answered May 13 09 at 12:29 Fabio Vinicius Binder 12.5k 4 30 32

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You know that feeling when you're in the standup meeting confidently calling it a "microservice" while internally screaming because it's basically a distributed monolith wearing a fancy hat? That nervous side-eye says it all. Your so-called microservice has more endpoints than a porcupine has quills, shares a database schema with everything else (violating every principle of service independence), and has "modules" that are just glorified folders pretending to be separate concerns. It's like calling a studio apartment a "luxury multi-zone living space." The worst part? Everyone on the team knows, but nobody wants to be the one to say "hey, maybe we should refactor this before it becomes sentient and enslaves us all." Instead, you just keep adding more endpoints and praying the database doesn't become the single point of failure it was always destined to be.

Nothing says "I've grown as a professional" quite like casually announcing you just nuked an entire database into the void with zero recovery options. The formal, dignified tone paired with the absolute CATASTROPHE being described is *chef's kiss*. It's like announcing the Titanic sank with the same energy as reading quarterly earnings. The frog in fancy attire really captures that moment when you're trying to maintain composure while internally screaming at the digital graveyard you just created. Pro tip: This is exactly how NOT to learn from your mistakes, because without a backup, you can't even study what went wrong. You just get to sit there and contemplate your life choices while your career flashes before your eyes.