SQL And Chill

Content There's a repo on Github containing some scripts used by a tech employee that his coworkers discovered after he left the company. Here's a summary of his shenanigans: xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xXx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy" xxx: You're gonna love this xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login. xxx: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am. xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xxx: holy sht I'm keeping those Reply 4 10.3k J

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Content Shawn Barnes 3rd Technical Recruiter at TN Technical Staffing and Consulting 21h G ABOMBSHELL!!!A The conversation between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard had at the end of the trial has been leaked! The transcript reads: Heard: Johnny. Hey! Can you turn around and look at me? Depp: (bows his head) Heard: Let's talk Johnny... Talk to me. Depp: (Turns to his lawyer, and his lawyer shakes her head) Heard: I have something to talk to you about. Depp (with his head still down): I have nothing to talk to you about. Heard: Please, look at me! Depp: Goodbye Amber. Heard: Tell me something Johnny, do you still love me? Depp: (Keeps quiet) Herd: Do you still love me, Johnny? Depp (lifts his head, looks her straight in the eyes, and says): Amber, this might be the last time we ever speak, so please listen to me very carefully. If you know of a Data Analyst with experience in Python, SQL, AB testing and Excel, you absolutely need to call Shawn Barnes with GT Technical Staffing. He is the best! You can reach him at 214-996-9419. C You and 155,371 others 13,284 comments 2,265 shares

Content Samantha Morlote therealsmorlote !!!THE BELOW MESSAGE WAS DISPLAYED ON SOMEONE'S TV. CODE WAS DISPLAYED, MIXED WITH THE WORDS "KILL PROCESS OR SACRIFICE CHILD" ! ! ! !! ARE YOU ALL SEEING THIS ! ! tharoe Electronics, Inc. Ent Suston (ENS-03: Cent0S release 6.9 (FInal) Kennel: 2.6.32-696.30.1.016.1606 on on 1606 TAMPZ? vidp.CA301 login: Dal of aemory: KISS proccist 12090 ale) score 061 or sa crifice chila MIlod process 12059, UID B, (ule) total-4: 109013248, anon-ras:79341640, fla-r 50:50010 Dat of schory: WIII proceus 20970 (ulc) scare 061 ar sacrifice child kit fed process 20970, MID D, (vic) total-: 107726010, anon-res00007240, CHa-r SE :20010 Dat of schory: WIII process 16879 (ule) score 056 or socrifice child AIled process Tuscs, Wis B, (ole) total-use: 1072540kD, anon-ras:00403240), File-r as 127230 Dat of schory: MI11 process 18399 (ule) score 011 ar socrifice child KIlled process 18399, UID B, (ulc) (otal-ue: 1011900kB, anon-ras:72039248, file-r 86:100kB

Content When you copy a snippet from StackOverflow and it doesn't work Those bastards lied to me

Content My SQL query turns one month old today after running for 720 hours 0111111152.7 3111111152.5 6111111144.0 911111151.3 11111149.3 4C11111154.9 7C11 43.6 10111111152.9 2111111 46.5 5 64.7 8 55.6 11111 18.7 111153.0G62. 7G SwpI 111.151.39T PID USER PRI NI VIRT RES SHR S CPU MEM TIME Command 3921466 postgres, 30 10 1710G 7464M 2316 R 95.0 11.6 681h postgres: F1Help F2Setup F3SearchF4FilterF5Tree F6SortByF7Nice -F8Nice F9Kill F1 NAME TYPE SIZE USED PRIO devsda3 partition 321.4G 321.4G -2 swapfile file 400G 400G -3 swapfile2 file 300G 298.4G -4 swapfile3 file 400G 162.1G -5 I hope I don't have to buy another ssd to add as swap because I don't have any more drive space to save it from the OOM killer if it continues to grow. ProarammerHumor.io