Foreign keys Memes

Ah, the "optimization" that makes security professionals wake up screaming! This tweet is showcasing the database equivalent of putting all your eggs in one extremely flammable basket. Sure, they reduced storage from 100GB to 3GB by centralizing all passwords with foreign key references. But they've also created the ultimate security nightmare - one breach and all passwords are compromised. Not to mention they're enabling password reuse, which is like using "password123" as your bank PIN, email password, and nuclear launch code. That 97GB reduction is going to cost them approximately $10 million in breach notification costs. Such efficiency!

Nothing says romance like pulling up a complex SQL query during intimate moments. Sure, some people light candles, but real database administrators show off their perfectly normalized tables and multi-JOIN statements. That query's got more relationships than a soap opera, with tables for customers, sales_orders, and products all interconnected in a beautiful dance of foreign keys. The perfect date night doesn't exi— oh wait, there it is: ORDER BY Employee_Id.

Ah, the classic database decree! On the left: "Foreign keys are illegal" and on the right: "All columns must be strings." It's basically the executive order that would make any database administrator contemplate a career change. Nothing says "I have absolutely no idea how databases work" quite like mandating string-only columns while banning foreign keys. Congratulations, you've just signed into law the creation of data integrity nightmares and query performance disasters! Next up: "NULL values are now taxed at 30%."

This meme is pure database nerd gold! It cleverly parodies political news by imagining Trump imposing tariffs on "foreign keys" - which in database terms are constraints that link tables together in relational databases. The punchline about "American keys are bigger, better, and will make your database great again" is brilliant because it plays on Trump's nationalistic rhetoric while making a ridiculous claim about database architecture that would horrify any DBA. The final touch about Microsoft and Oracle being "somewhat happy" is *chef's kiss* - implying these tech giants would profit from this chaos while database administrators everywhere have existential crises about how to "manage relationships now." Just like real politics affecting real industries!