Santa's Database Security Is Coming To Town

Just like that Polish town where 6,000 people share a single street address, single-table databases cram everything into one horrific data structure. No relationships, no normalization—just a massive Excel spreadsheet masquerading as a database. The database equivalent of putting your entire life in one drawer and then wondering why you can't find your tax documents. Bonus points if you've added a JSON column to store "flexible" data, you monster.

That crushing moment of defeat when your SQL masterpiece—a sprawling labyrinth of JOINs and subqueries that took half your day to craft—finally executes without errors... only to mockingly return an empty result set. The database equivalent of applauding your own funeral. The player's face-down position perfectly captures that special kind of developer despair where you're not even angry anymore—just disappointed in yourself, the database, and possibly the entire concept of relational data.

Content rProgrammerHumor uMicroErick 8h 6 , 12 Prmios Frist day as intern for Spotify, is it custom to DROP a table after you're done querying it? I was running a simple query on the Users table and dropped it before leaving for lunch. I do this all the time for my assignments but people here are freaking out for some reason. 4 11,3k J 493 1, Comparti... 47 Premiar rspotify uRetiredPenguin 8h Unir-se 6 9. 5 7 Prmios Just got randomly logged off mid-song on my phone and can't log back in Has this happened to anyone? I'm on a Google Pixel 6. I was listening to my discover weekly and out of the blue I just got logged out and when I try to reset my password it isn't sending me a link. This is pretty annoying and random,.. 4 3,7k I 933 1, Comparti... Premiar ProdrammerHumor.io

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Content Model.cs X Program.cs Querylt.Employee using System.Text; using System. Threading. Tasks; namespace QueryIt public class Person public string Name get; set; DoWorkO public class Employee : Person public int Id get; set; public virtual void DoWork() Console.WriteLine("Doing real work"); E public class Manager : Employee public override void DoWork() Console.WriteLine("Create a meeting");

Behold, the perfect metaphor for every "I'll fix it later" database design. That Polish town is what happens when junior devs store everything in one massive table—address, name, payment info, order history, favorite color, and probably their grandmother's maiden name too. Database normalization exists for a reason, folks. Without it, you're just cramming 6,000 entities onto a single street called "users_table_v2_FINAL_ACTUALLY_FINAL.sql" and wondering why your queries take longer than a Windows update.