It Really Happened

Content B N G O How do I "I've been passionate get into about FAANG? programming since I was 10" "I should pads resume Either speaks have went with clubs in buzzwords that they or doesn't to an ivy attended league" know a single once one of them Liberal On discord is it worth constantly going to the arts are career fair and plays for idiots Minecraft even though I'm freshman? can't function without Coffee Are they gonna curve the Free! grades? "I just copied code from stackoverflow am cheating?" Hates I only code Macs and in C and loves hate Linux Python Favorite show is Silicon Valley "Arch Linux is the best OS ever to exist" Doesn't realize most of CS is math(sucks at it) admires Elon musk and wants to work at Space "The professors doesn't know misogyny what they're talking about" Doesn't Addresses I solve 5 know what TAs as Dr, leetcode hard notepad is or problems a day, keyboard Professor, am I doing shortcuts etc enough? minutes before Has a laptop deadline: "how with a ton of do I do this web dev fundamental thing? tech stickers

Content Giulio Carrara 3rd Software Engineer 1d Dear recruiters, if you are looking for: - Java, Python, PHP - React, Angular - PostgreSQL, Redis, MongoDB - AWS, S3, EC2, ECS, EKS - nix system administration - Git and CI with TDD - Docker, Kubernetes That's not a Full Stack Developer. That's an entire IT department. Yours truly 0 8,801 391 comments

Content H..He. Hel.. OMG! His first words. Hello World! Programmer

The career progression of a CS grad who never quite made it. Algorithms? Blank stare. Database systems? Dead inside. But show them a joke about semicolons and suddenly they're a technical genius. It's the programming equivalent of only understanding sports through memes about referees being blind.

Ah, the eternal throne room of data storage, where CSV sits as the reluctant monarch. While Postgres kneels before the throne with actual database capabilities, Excel and HyperCard stand guard like knights who peaked in high school. Meanwhile, Google Sheets, Access, and Airtable huddle on the floor like peasants who think they'll someday be invited to dinner. The real joke? We all complain about CSV's lack of typing, relations, and basic sanity checks, yet it's outlived every "proper" database solution we've thrown at it. It's the cockroach of data formats - nuclear war wouldn't kill it, just create more variants with inconsistent delimiters.

Content Boss: Can you make a gray-background button? And please stop doing jokes in your code Me: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 const button document .querySelector("button"); function newColor() var r Math. floor(Math.random () 256); var g - Math. floor (Math. random () 256); var b Math. floor (Math.random () 256); grayBackground(r, g, b); function grayBackground(r, g, b) if (r 128 g 128 b 128) button.style.backgroundColor rgb(r), (g) , b)'; alert("Is gray!"); else newColor (); newColor);