Forget To Commit The Transaction

The career progression of a CS grad who never quite made it. Algorithms? Blank stare. Database systems? Dead inside. But show them a joke about semicolons and suddenly they're a technical genius. It's the programming equivalent of only understanding sports through memes about referees being blind.

Content TheMisterEpic TheMisterEdicYT. 19h So in minecraft bedrocks program files, you can find a document which lists all the words which are censored. Here's a small little sample of the 977 words microsoft censors.. You can actually delete this file if you take ownership of the entire folder. piyad blyadt bon3r boner boobs boobz Btch Bukakke Bullshit bung butagorosi butthead Butthole fuuck fuuckd fuucked fuucker fucking fuuckr fuuuck fuuuckd fuuucked fuuucker fuuucking fuuuckr chankoro chieokure chikusatsu ching chong Chinga Chingada Madre Chingado Chingate chink chinpo Chlamydia fuuuuuucker fuuuuuucking fuuuuuuckr fuuuuuuuck fuuuuuuuckd fuuuuuuucked fuuuuuuucker fuuuuuuucking fuuuuuuuckr fuuuuuuuuckd fuuuuuuuucked fuuuuuuuucker

Content The Proud Parent The Linker REPENT TOMER - Half your manager, half your senior - Designed the codebase - Will always answer your question, but only after a 5 minute on the motivations of a now rebuilt module from years ago - "I remember when we had to do that process in the AWS console with just a trackpad, uphill both ways" - Tough during code review, but genuinely happy to see you ship new features to the system The Job Security Maximizer - Always sends you a link when you ask a question, sometimes without any other words - "Look at this" - Thinks you don't know standard documentation exists - Posts medium articles in the main channel, doesn't read them - Never reviews code - First stack overflow result The Big Chiller - "Ohh, that? Sorry I totally forgot all - Been around for years, knows the entire about the code I wrote a month ago" codebase - Tells you to ask someone else for the - Friends with the CTO simplest question - Shows you the exact line of code that - Has dozens of pages of private notes, causes your bug within 5 minutes READMEs all read "initial commit" - They last shipped a commit a couple - "Have you thought about adding an months ago, you think abstracter to this abstraction? With that - Always approves your PRs we can decouple the coupler from the universe" 10 i0

Content function register if (lompty (POST)) ( Smsa If (S POST'I username' 1) If (POSTI 'user pasawordnew' 1) if (SPOSTI 'userpasawordnew') wam SPOSTI 'userpasswordrepeat' 1) 4 if (otrlen (POST(' user pasawordnew' 1) 5) ( if (atrion (POST 'unernago'1) 65 Is atrlon (9POST( 'uBorname 1) 1) ( if (pregmatch((a-2dj (2,64)S1', SPOSE('user name I)) ( Suser - readuser (SPOST ('user nano 1): If (lisset (Suser( username' 1)) ( if (9POST( 'user email1) ( if (atrion (SPOST( 'useromail') 65) ( If (filtervar (SPOST udor email'1, FILTERVALIDATEEMAIL)) ( creatousor 0)7 SESSION 'mag' 'You are now registered so please login': header ('Locations SSERVER( 'PHPSELP'1). exit : 0160 Smea You must provide a valid email addross Sing w "Small must be less than 64 charactors': else Smag a 'Emafl cannot be empty"; ) else Smog - 'Usernamo already exists'; olso Smsg 'Usornamo must bo only a 2, A-2 0-9; Username must be botsoon 2 and 64 charactors" ) else Sang 'Password must be at least 6 characters'; Passwords do not' satch: )else Smag Empty Password olso Smog - 'Empty Username') S SESSION( 'mog' 1 - ) return registerform();

Content Storing cleartext passwords isn't really a problem And Other Hilarious Jokes You Can Tell Yourself Volume Il

Content DON'T USE A SPREAD- SHEET! DO IT RIGHT. BUT A SPREADSHEET WOULD BE SO EASY. IN THE LONG RUN YOULL REGRET I TAKE THE TIME TO WRITE REAL CODE. JUST PASTE THE DATA! TINKER UNTIL IT WORKS! BUILD A LABYRINTH OF ' REGEXREPLACE () AND ARRANFORMULA()! FEEL THE POWER! FIGHT THE TEMPTATION! EVER TRED QUERY() IN GOOGLE SHEETS? IT LETS YOU TREAT A BLOCK OF CELLS LIKE A DATABASE AND RUN SQL QUERIES ON THEM. DON'T LISTEN TO- WAIT. REALLY? YES. AND LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT IMPORTHTML (). 00OH.