Don't Shoot, I'm Your DBA! (Until You Ask For Proof)

Content A wasp rolled over by a train. 15.4k J 391 Share BEST COMMENTS AutoModerator 9h Please report this post if: It is ... TheDankestJ 9h Mf got squashed so hard he got integrated into the tracks Reply 4 1.8k J sushibgd 4h o A S 6 Awards It was a bug and now it's a feature. 2.2k J

Content T multg Join Sid fastest way to learn fortran as teen Hello, I found out that my name is also the name of a programming language. I thought it would be cool to learn this, also because my parents seem to be real fans of this language. I want to surprise them with my skills. I don't know anything about coding except some scripting in Roblox (Lua language). How can I learn the fastest. Thank you guys, With kind regards, Fortran 91 B 0 9 1d What the fuck Reply 4 90 1

The joke here is about the existential dread every developer feels when they realize the maintainers of critical open-source libraries that power basically the entire internet (tz database, SQLite, ImageMagick, and FFmpeg) could all theoretically die in a single bus accident. This is the infamous "bus factor" in software development - how screwed would we be if key contributors got hit by a bus? For these particular libraries, the answer is "catastrophically screwed." These aren't just any libraries - they're the unsexy workhorses handling time zones, databases, image processing, and video encoding that silently power everything from your banking app to Netflix. And the kicker? Most are maintained by small teams or even single individuals, often working for free. Sweet dreams!

Content rProgrammerHumor urapistfox 21h Guys, I need help. I will be dating girl that works as programmer. Can you give me some of your fancy techy words that I can impress her with? Other Idk somehing like "I would name my variables after you"

Ah, the classic programmer date format joke. When normal humans talk about perfect dates, they're thinking candlelit dinners or beach walks. But our code-addicted friend here? His brain immediately jumps to ISO 8601 (YYYY-MM-DD), the only date format that makes any logical sense in a world of chaotic MM/DD/YY vs DD/MM/YY debates. After 20 years of parsing date strings, you develop a special kind of trauma. I've literally broken up with databases over their date handling. And don't get me started on JavaScript's Date object... that relationship was toxic from day one.

Content J Write a sarcastic email "congratulating" a tech CEO for executing layoffs. Subject: Congratulations on your latest accomplishment! Dear Tech CEO, I just wanted to take a moment to extend my sincerest congratulations on your recent success in executing layoffs. It takes a true leader to be able to make the tough decisions, especially when it means sacrificing the livelihoods of hardworking employees who have dedicated their time and effort to the company. It's truly inspiring to see someone in your position prioritize profit over people. I mean, who needs job security and financial stability when you have a booming bottom line, right? I'm sure all of the individuals who were let go will be grateful for the opportunity to improve their skills in the unemployment line. Keep up the great work. I can't wait to see what other brilliant ideas you have in store for the future. Best regards, Your Name