From Table Select Row: The SQL Rebellion

Content Over the break, many of you may have forgotten your passwords. So I've taken the liberty of printing them up for you. You have access to all our passwords in plaintext? It's for security purposes. This actually happened. fuzzyzillacomics

Content PierrOx 12h What's wrong with PHP? I'd rather use PHP than making websites with Python and some insane abomination like Django. Reply 8 a SuggestedName90 2 12h 52 C 3 Awards Woah woah, Python is like a porn actor. It can do any job, but when my sink is leaking I don't call Johnny sins 29 S PierrOx 12h OH. MY. GOD. I've saved your comment and will come back to give you an award when I get a free award. Amazing. 4 6 a

Ah yes, the pinnacle of AI evolution: generating code that looks real but is completely non-functional. This masterpiece features "coast" instead of "const", a magical "YIMENT" primary key, and my personal favorite - "ortetocatiem" as a variable. It's like someone fed a neural network a programming textbook and a bottle of tequila. The best part is some poor junior dev will probably try to debug this for hours before realizing they've been bamboozled by an AI hallucination.

Content JULIA EVANS bork (1 SI want to go to https:example.com Chmm. don't know the address for example.com 4 G browser where do I even start? (same place l've been resolver loo starting since 2005... 1 have the root nameserver IP addresses hardcoded asking an "example.com nameserver For? what's the Ip for example.com? resolver (It's 93.184.216.341 example. life of a DNS query 2 13) what's the IP for example.com? browser hmm, I'll look in my cache... resolver 5 asking a " nameserver What's the ip for example.com? resolver You should ask a .com nameserver! It's at a.stld-servers. net 8 I'm waiting! It's -been 20ms.... browser I got the IP! it's 93.184.216.34 browser recover DNS cache 1 neopets.com 1.2.3.4 324 google.com 5.6.7.8 99 resolver Nope, I don't have it cached, we need to ask the nameservers! asking a ".com nameserver what's the 1P for example.com? resolver You should ask an example.com nameserver! It's at a. iana-servers. net com nameservi 000 (areat! I'll send my HTTP request to 93.184.216.34!

Content There's a repo on Github containing some scripts used by a tech employee that his coworkers discovered after he left the company. Here's a summary of his shenanigans: xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xXx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy" xxx: You're gonna love this xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login. xxx: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am. xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xxx: holy sht I'm keeping those Reply 4 10.3k J

Content When you found out random number aren't actually random Those bastards lied to me PS Express