How Does It Keep Happening

The pinnacle of software engineering: a digital clock implementation that would make computer science professors weep. This masterpiece features arrays with missing values, commented out time libraries (because who needs those?), nested loops that would make Dante add another circle to hell, and the iconic comment "//fuck i++" which perfectly captures the developer's spiritual journey. Yet somehow, against all laws of programming and human decency, the output shows a working clock counting from 11:56 to 00:02. It's the coding equivalent of building a rocket with duct tape and prayers—and watching it actually reach orbit.

Ah, the mythical "German C" programming language—where function names like druckef replace printf and nightmares are made of compound words longer than your entire Git commit history. But the real horror show is that second image. German Excel VBA is apparently the final boss of programming languages—a monstrous creation where function names like VorherigerGeschaeftstag make you question your career choices. It's what happens when German efficiency meets programming verbosity. Imagine debugging that beast after three cups of coffee. Your IDE autocomplete would give up halfway through typing a function name and just display "...good luck with that."

The left side shows all the ridiculous string types C++ developers have to deal with: str , String , OsStr , OsString , Path , PathBuf , Vec<u8> , &u8 , CString , CStr ... while the right side shows the elegant simplicity of just using char[] . It's like bringing a Swiss Army knife to a gunfight when all you needed was a bullet. The string handling complexity in modern languages vs. the old-school C approach is programming's version of "why use many word when few word do trick?"

DARLING, the computer said "Tell a programmer to up VERTEX_BUFFER_SIZE" and I am LITERALLY just the messenger! 💅 What am I supposed to do? Learn C++? Sacrifice my firstborn to the GPU gods? The error message has SPOKEN, and who am I—a mere mortal user—to question its divine wisdom? The audacity of this game engine thinking I have ANY idea what a "dynamic vertex buffer" is! It might as well have asked me to explain quantum physics while juggling flaming chainsaws. I'm just trying to play my game with friends named "asbestosmuncher" and "Cock of the Block" like any normal person!

The classic programmer's transitive property. "If I know A and B, then I know C" logic taken to its absurd conclusion. Like claiming you're fluent in Italian because you once ate at Olive Garden. Next they'll say they know machine code because they touched a computer once. The confidence of someone who thinks programming languages are just Pokémon evolutions of each other.

The endless cycle of programmer self-loathing continues! At 15, you're a Java hotshot thinking you're God's gift to computing. By 20, you've "evolved" to Python while cringing at your Java days. Then at 30, you're wielding C++ and Rust, looking back at your Python self with pure embarrassment. And the cycle continues... Future you is already facepalming at current you's tech choices. It's like each programming language is just another awkward yearbook photo waiting to happen.