cryptography Memes

Ent-To-Ent Encryption: Nature's Most Secure Protocol
Security Networking Programming
18 days ago 87.0K views 0 shares
Ent-To-Ent Encryption: Nature's Most Secure Protocol
The cryptographic pun we didn't know we needed! This brilliant wordplay combines end-to-end encryption (the security protocol that keeps your messages private) with Ents (the talking tree creatures from fantasy). Security engineers spend countless hours ensuring nobody can intercept your precious cat photos, while fantasy Ents are apparently doing the same with their arboreal gossip. Somewhere, a cryptography professor is both groaning and secretly adding this to their lecture slides. Next up: hash functions explained using actual breakfast potatoes.

Sounds A Bit Simple
Programming Security Algorithms Javascript Python
20 days ago 85.7K views 0 shares
Sounds A Bit Simple
Ah, the duality of random number generation! The top panel shows the proper way—importing libraries like random , time , or os to generate proper pseudo-random numbers with good entropy. The bottom panel reveals the chaotic evil approach—hardcoding your "random" generator without external input, which is basically just saying return 4 because it was randomly chosen by fair dice roll. Guaranteed to be random! The twisted face in the second panel perfectly captures the deranged energy of a developer who thinks Math.floor(Math.random() * 6) + 1 is too much work and opts for const getRandomNumber = () => 4; instead. Cryptographers are screaming somewhere.

Private Key Plus Plus
Security Networking Devops Programming Linux
27 days ago 119.3K views 0 shares
Private Key Plus Plus
When your security is so good even you can't access it! The joke here is playing on the concept of SSH private keys (already meant to be secret) and making them "more private" by adding more 's' and 'h' characters—as if whispering "shhh" makes your encryption stronger. It's the digital equivalent of putting your password in a safe, then forgetting the safe combination, then burying the safe in concrete. Security through obscurity and anxiety!

Employee Of The Month: Lava Lamp Edition
Security Algorithms Math Programming
28 days ago 104.2K views 0 shares
Employee Of The Month: Lava Lamp Edition
Ah yes, the classic "we need a random number generator" dilemma solved by... *checks notes*... a wall of lava lamps? Fun fact: Cloudflare actually uses a wall of lava lamps to generate truly random numbers for encryption. The unpredictable movement of the blobs creates entropy that's photographed and converted to random data. Meanwhile, the developer who suggested this bizarre solution is now getting side-eye from colleagues who were probably expecting Math.random() like normal people. But hey, sometimes the weirdest solutions are the most secure ones.

Programmers Gambling Addiction
Algorithms Security Hardware Math Programming
1 month ago 110.2K views 0 shares
Programmers Gambling Addiction
Oh. My. GOD! Bitcoin mining explained in the most SAVAGE way possible! 😱 Imagine playing a cosmic lottery where you're trying to guess a number between 1 and 10 22 (that's a 1 with TWENTY-TWO zeros after it, sweetie). The odds are so astronomically ridiculous that your computer would literally burst into flames before guessing correctly! Yet here we are, with thousands of miners worldwide melting the polar ice caps with their electricity consumption just to play this mathematical slot machine from hell. And for what? The CHANCE to win 3.125 Bitcoin that they'll probably never sell because "it might go up more." The delusion is BREATHTAKING!

Is Anybody Using This Private Key
Security Networking Programming Linux
1 month ago 174.5K views 0 shares
Is Anybody Using This Private Key
Ah, posting your private key on the internet. The digital equivalent of leaving your house keys under the doormat... except the doormat is in Times Square with a neon sign pointing to it. For the uninitiated, this is showing an OpenSSL-generated RSA private key - the secret half of public-key cryptography that should NEVER be shared. It's basically the master key to your digital kingdom. Posting it online is security suicide. Ten years of hardening your infrastructure just to casually drop your private key in a screenshot. Classic.

Sounds A Bit Simple
Programming Security Python Debugging Testing
1 month ago 95.2K views 1 shares
Sounds A Bit Simple
Top panel: Normal human being using proper random modules like a functioning member of society. Bottom panel: The unhinged developer who thinks return 4 is a perfectly acceptable random number generator because "it was randomly chosen by me, so technically it's random." Somewhere in production, a critical system is running on hardcoded "randomness" and nobody has noticed yet.

Employee Of The Month: Lava Lamp Edition
Security Networking Hardware Algorithms Math
1 month ago 130.4K views 0 shares
Employee Of The Month: Lava Lamp Edition
The peak of cryptographic security: using a wall of lava lamps as entropy source! The first panel shows a dev asking for a random number generator. The second panel proudly displays Cloudflare's actual wall of lava lamps that captures unpredictable fluid motion to generate truly random numbers. Meanwhile, the other devs are utterly unimpressed because... well, they probably expected Math.random() like normal humans. Little do they know this bizarre contraption is actually genius-level randomness engineering that powers internet security for millions of websites. Cryptography's greatest flex disguised as retro office decor.

Base64 Is Not Encryption
Security Programming Debugging
1 month ago 104.4K views 0 shares
Base64 Is Not Encryption
Every junior dev thinks they've invented encryption when they discover Base64. The number of times I've had to explain that encoding ≠ encryption is probably why my hair's thinning. Base64 is just fancy dress for your data – anyone can undress it with zero effort. It's like hiding your house key under the doormat and calling it a security system. And the response is always the same: "Fine! I'll just use Base128 then!" Sure buddy, throw more digits at the problem. That'll fix it. Just like how writing your password in bigger letters makes it more secure.

Insecure Private Key
Security Networking Programming
1 month ago 116.2K views 0 shares
Insecure Private Key
When you mistake a celebrity's keyboard smash for your RSA private key. The irony is delicious - spending hours securing your system only to accidentally paste Lady Gaga's random tweet as your encryption key. The real security vulnerability was between the keyboard and chair all along. Pro tip: If your private key looks like it could've been generated by a pop star having a seizure on their keyboard, maybe double-check before deploying to production.

Strong Encryption
Security Networking Programming
1 month ago 112.4K views 0 shares
Strong Encryption
Oh no! Someone thinks base64 encoding is "strong encryption"! 🤦‍♂️ This is like putting your house key under the doormat and calling it a high-security vault! Base64 is just an encoding scheme that converts binary data to text - it's not encryption at all! It can be decoded by literally anyone with an internet connection in 2 seconds flat. The cherry on top is the user named "acidburnNSA" claiming it's "mathematically unhackable" - which is pure comedy gold! And then someone suggests base16 is equally secure? I can't even! This is the security equivalent of using "password123" and feeling smug about it!

The Future Of Mallory
Security Networking Programming
1 month ago 88.4K views 0 shares
The Future Of Mallory
Ah, the classic cryptography trio! In security modeling, Alice and Bob are the standard characters who want to communicate securely, while Mallory is the malicious attacker intercepting their messages. But here, poor Mallory has been replaced by The Atlantic magazine—implying they're now the ones snooping on everyone's conversations and spreading them to the world. Journalists: the new man-in-the-middle attack! Ten years in cybersecurity and I still can't decide which is more dangerous.