cryptography Memes

Passwords, How Do They Work? (Conversation With A Guy Who Has Been A Developer For 5 Years)

Passwords, How Do They Work? (Conversation With A Guy Who Has Been A Developer For 5 Years)
This conversation is what happens when you skip the "boring" security lectures in CS class. Our green-text hero thinks decrypting password hashes is just another Tuesday feature request, while orange-text is having an existential crisis trying to explain one-way functions. The best part? Five years of development experience and still wondering why we can't just hand out passwords like candy. That final "I can look it up anytime" after completely misunderstanding basic cryptography is peak developer confidence without competence. This is why your bank account gets hacked, folks. Because somewhere out there, a dev is thinking "who cares if you have the decryption algorithm" while building your financial app. Bruh indeed.

What Is This Qualification

whatIsThisQualification | python-memes, engineer-memes, engineering-memes, crypto-memes, cryptography-memes, devops-memes, cs-memes, rust-memes, graph-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content Helpful Qualifications: You've recently graduated from a top engineering school (or are willing to drop out) Experience in golang, python, or rust Familiarity with cryptography or crypto-L2s Exposure to devos, statistics, and system architecture

Reddit's app is a joke, so is its code. (Actual reverse-engineered code)

Reddit's app is a joke, so is its code. (Actual reverse-engineered code) | code-memes, java-memes, engineer-memes, bug-memes, loc-memes, string-memes, api-memes, class-memes, kotlin-memes, crypto-memes, reddit-memes, ide-memes, cryptography-memes, graph-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content libreddit-ndk.so - Hide stuff in native library! Nobody can ever read native code, no matter how simple! Put a dummy parameter in the calls from the Kotlin code so people will think something deep is going on: KeyUtil.decryptSigningKey("a0c1e177d7afd4faaaee14f6ef712917c576a33dccd7381c63fed3312658bd8"); Actually always returns "8c7abaa5f905f70400c81bf3a1a10175f72101041991f0c5240aa80c4d99d" string JavacomredditauthcommonutilKeyUtildecryptSigningKey(JNIEnvenv,jclassunused,jstringfakeandunused) char keystr (char )malloc(66) ; Malloc? It's just 66 bytes, use a local variable, stupid. for(int i 0; i 65; i) keystri mapkeyill; A substitution cipher.. height of cryptography in the year 300 BC. keystr 65 0; Null-terminate the string return env-NewStringUTF(env, keystr); Native memory allocations aren't garbage-collected, idiots, you need to call free() Now you're leaking memory on every single API request! String parameter is ignored, always returns "s3ybk2jbEg4BmxQqvqgXoGs3AOUHUH8y" On the Kotlin side we just change a few chars at the start and end of the dummy string: KevUtil. decryptiphyApKey( "uty893a3d7af d4faaaee14f6ef712917c576a33dccd7381c63fed331scukko8" ); surely nobody will notice the 'encrypted' parameters are remarkably similar: jstring Javacomreddit mediacommonapikeys KeyutildecryptGiphyApiKey (JNIEnv env, jclass unused, jstring fake and unused) char keystr (char )malloc (34); Again with the same stupidity for (int i 0; i 33; i) keystri giphymapgiphykeyi; keystr33 0; return env-NewStringUTF(env, keystr); Again the same bug. ProdrammerHumor.io

Google Side Channel Attack Holy Hell

googleSideChannelAttackHolyHell | google-memes, crypto-memes, ide-memes, cryptography-memes, graph-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content OKNOW MY CRYPTOGRAPHY.0CAN IMPLEMENT THESE ALGORITHMS BY MYSELF FILJUST USEATIBRARY FOR THESE AUTH STUFF 34 34 ILLJUST USEALIBRARY FOR THESE AUTH STUFF 14 14 0.1 10 score 55 2 70 85 100 115 130 2 0.1 145

Cryptography explained in one picture

Cryptography explained in one picture | crypto-memes, cryptography-memes, graph-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content Alice The key ProdrammerHumor.io Bob Prime numbers

Talk about RISC-Y business

Talk about RISC-Y business | software-memes, computer-memes, development-memes, engineer-memes, hardware-memes, crypto-memes, IT-memes, ibm-memes, cryptography-memes, graph-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content STOP USING RISC CPU'S ARE SUPPOSED TO DO MORE, MORE EFFICIENTLY BILLIONS in development yet NO REAL-WORLD USE for replacing INSTRUCTIONS with MORE REGISTERS Wanted to put a value somewhere on the processor anyway for a laugh? We had a tool for that: It was called "EDX" OR "MEMORY" "Yes, please give me ZERO tools for cryptography. Please replace HARDWARE OPTIMIZATION with my own poorly written SOFTWARE" - Statements dreamed up by the utterly Deranged LOOK at what ElectricalComputer Engineers have been demanding your Respect for all this time, with all the HDL's and chip fabs we built for them (THIS IS REAL RISC ARCHITECTURE, DONE BY REAL ENGINEERS) ARM7TDMI Core Diagram IBM PowerPC 601 IBM 1992 A raw in uh orocessors given the name "hracles was announceo n may 2021 wo sanchoreo abolications can exchange dale without the systems Pacman edit i PPC601FD-080-2 .19425030KS ????? ??????? ??????????????? "Hello I would like to add two numbers together, let me just LDR LDR LDR ADD ADD STR" THEY HAVE PLAYED US FOR ABSOLUTE FOOLS ProarammerHumo

It do be like that in cryptography.

It do be like that in cryptography. | crypto-memes, IT-memes, cryptography-memes, graph-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content Alice

I'm pretty sure GNU GMP has the best cookie-alert

I'm pretty sure GNU GMP has the best cookie-alert | developer-memes, html-memes, development-memes, server-memes, google-memes, bugs-memes, bug-memes, machine-memes, git-memes, security-memes, list-memes, function-memes, google chrome-memes, http-memes, pdf-memes, search-memes, crypto-memes, c-memes, release-memes, internet-memes, mac-memes, ML-memes, documentation-memes, cryptography-memes, cookie-memes, graph-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content 9 Google Chrome E The GNU MPFR Li XL MPFR - Using th x cMP The GNU MP Big X GMP GMP developers Ga secu Tue Jul 25, 12:46:200 18.2 C GMP Arithmetic without limitations The GNU Multiple Precision Arithmetic Library Documentation: Devanloode Development: GMPbench: Fun: Securitv: 6.1.2 HTML 6.1.2 PDE gmp-6.1.2.tar.lz Release notes NEW 2016-12-16 Developers' corner Results Download benchmark sources Compute billions of digits of it using GMP! GMP server security policy Page contents: What is GMP? Function categories Download Reporting bugs Mailing lists Current release status Future release This site does not use cookies I agree! What is GMP? GMP is a free library for arbitrary precision arithmetic, operating on signed integers, rational numbers, and floating-point numbers. There is no practical limit to the precision except the ones implied by the available memory in the machine GMP runs on. GMP has a rich set of functions, and the functions have a regular interface. The main target applications for GMP are crotography applications and research. Internet securitv applications. algebra svstems. computational

Cryptography: expectations vs. reality

Cryptography: expectations vs. reality | password-memes, crypto-memes, laptop-memes, cryptography-memes, graph-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content A CRYPTO NERD'S IMAGINATION: HIS LAPTOP'S ENCRYPTED. LET'S BUILD A MILLION-DOLLAR CLUSTER TO CRACK IT. NO GOOD! IT'S 4096 -BIT RSA! BLAST! OUR EVIL PLAN 15 FOILED! WHAT WOULD ACTUALLY HAPPEN: HIS LAPTOP'S ENCRYPTED. DRUG HIM AND HIT HIM WITH THIS 5 WRENCH UNTIL HE TELLS US THE PASSWORD GOT IT.

Data Scientist.

Data Scientist. | matplotlib-memes, data-memes, pandas-memes, numpy-memes, csv-memes, tensorflow-memes, http-memes, url-memes, curl-memes, crypto-memes, cli-memes, keras-memes, data scientist-memes, sklearn-memes, scipy-memes, cryptography-memes, cs-memes, graph-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content from math import sqrt, ceil, floor,ged import numpy as np import pandas as pd import tensorflow as tf import keras import matplotlib.pyplot as plt import nltk import scipy import click import collections import cryptography, crypt, astropy, cv, cython, curl, cv2, math, math import gensim import http import seaborn import sklearn 10:20 PM print ("Hello world!'") Data You know, I'm something of a scientist myself

Me after that one free course I found from an add I clicked on.

Me after that one free course I found from an add I clicked on. | matplotlib-memes, pandas-memes, numpy-memes, csv-memes, tensorflow-memes, http-memes, url-memes, curl-memes, crypto-memes, cli-memes, keras-memes, sklearn-memes, scipy-memes, cryptography-memes, cs-memes, graph-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content from math import sqrt, ceil, floor,ged import numpy as np import pandas as pd import tensorflow as tf import keras import matplotlib.pyplot as plt import nltk import scipy import click import collections import cryptography, crypt, astropy, cs, cython, curl, cv2, math, math import gensim import http import seaborn import sklearn 10:20 PM print ("Hello world!") Data You know, I'm something of a scientist myself

Algorithm correctness

Algorithm correctness | code-memes, computer-memes, tech-memes, development-memes, engineer-memes, engineering-memes, testing-memes, test-memes, electron-memes, random-memes, git-memes, list-memes, algorithm-memes, forms-memes, error-memes, crypto-memes, IT-memes, ide-memes, cryptography-memes, cs-memes, runtime-memes, graph-memes | ProgrammerHumor.io
Content Of cour de vide COLOR Exercise 1.17 Most Lisp implementations include a primitive called runtime which returns an integer that specifies the amount of time the system has been running (measured. for example, in microseconds). The following timed-prime-test procedure, when called with an integer n, prints n and checks to see if n is prime. If n is prime, the procedure prints three asterisks followed by the number of microseconds used in performing the test. (define (timed-prime-test n) (define start-time (runtime)) (define found-prime? (prime? n)) 41 In testing primality of very large numbers chosen at random, the chance of stumbling upon a value that fools the Fermat test is less than the chance that cosmic radiation will cause the computer to make an error in carrying out a "correct" algorithm. Considering an algorithm to be inadequate for the first reason but not for the second illustrates the difference between mathematics and engineering. 42 One of the most striking applications of probabilistic prime testing has been to the field of cryptography. Although it is now computationally infeasible to factor an arbitrary 200-digit number, the primality of such a number can be checked in a few seconds with the Fermat test. This fact forms the basis of a technique for constructing "unbreakable codes" suggested by Rivest, Shamir, and Adelman (1977). Because of this and related developments, the study of prime numbers, once considered the epitome of a topic in "pure" mathematics to be studied only for its own sake, now turns out to have important practical applications to cryptography, electronic funds transfer, and information retrieval.